Skulls and Scars

Delta Zero.

The morning was cloudy and a bit chilly. I woke up alone on my bed; Johnny was sleeping soundly on his. I couldn't remember when he decided to go back to his bed, so he probably sneaked out while I was deeply asleep. I tried to get up, and managed to walk cautiously to see if my legs were cooperating.
Two duffel bags were lying on the floor, with a pair of tactical boots beside them and paper tag attached on each. I've opened the one with my name on it and saw tactical uniforms, gear and other necessities. I grabbed a black tank top, the cargo pants and clean socks. As I was finishing wearing the cargo pants, Johnny had woken up.

- Good morning to ye, mo leannan... Nice view!

- Right back at you, minus the view! - I laughed. - And what did you just called me?

- If I translate that, we will be in trouble. - His smug expression intrigued me.

- I hope is not anything smutty!

- No worries, it is not... - he chuckled. - By the way, all these stuff are for us?

- Apparently, yeah. - I was lacing my boots. - It even has tags with our names on it.

- Oh, that's nice! - he stretched his back, letting a grunt escape. - A good day at last!

- The task force having a good day? Such luxury!

- We're all alive and ready to get back up, mo leannan. That's good enough.

- I'm leaving first for breakfast. Don't take it too long!

- What do you mean by that? - he laughed while getting up from his bed.

As I finished dressing up, I left the room and walked straight up to the living room. I wanted to know about Simon as soon as possible, and to my relief and happiness, he was sitting at the table, trying to eat breakfast with his opposite hand.

- You're out of the bed!!! - I rushed to wrap my arms around his neck.

- Morning to you too, sweetie. Easy there, I'm still fucked up!

- I'm so sorry! - I've let him go and sat next to him. - I was so worried, and nobody allowed me to see you...

- You needed to be cared for too. How are you faring?

- Concussion and muscular trauma, according to the doctor. I just needed some stitches and to stay quiet.

- Is that so? - he glanced at me with curiosity.

- Yeah, why?

- Just wondering why I can smell MacTavish's cologne in you.

I immediately froze. My heart sank in my chest; a wave of panic had punched me in the gut. I automatically smelled my arms and my tank top, hoping that could be just him being paranoid...
But he wasn't wrong. I was smelling like Johnny's cologne all over my body.

Shit.

Simon was staring at me, with a pained look in his eyes. I was genuinely scared.

- Mr. Price assigned him to be my caretaker for the night, and he helped me to move around the bedroom, since I couldn't walk properly. That's all!

- Did Price assign him...? To share the bedroom... With you...?!?

- Yeah, even I couldn't understand the reason until he told me that Mr. Price found out the cheating back in the base.

- That's fucking bollocks... - he growled angrily.

- Whatever is on your mind it didn't happen, Simon... I swear.

He looked into my eyes, trying to figure out if I was lying... Which in fact, I was actually omitting some things.
I didn't want to fight, nor lose him. I love Simon more than I could love anyone, and I would go insane if we break up. I was fidgeting my skull pendant, fearful of his reaction... And his judgemental silence was pure torture.

- ...You're scared. What really happened?

- I... I shared the bed with him because I was terrified to be alone.

- There's probably more to it.

- We c-cuddled.

- Fucking hell...

- Simon... - my voice was breaking out of panic.

- I can't blame you. You're way too traumatized. But at the same time, this is a trust issue.

- Are you implying that I...?!?

- That you've cheated on me? That you've fucked him? Perhaps. We never know a slag until we fuck one.

Such harsh words just destroyed me inside. Tears started to roll down my face incessantly, I felt my face burn. A painful lump grew in my throat; I wanted to scream, to cuss him out, to lash out with all my might... But all I did was to get all shaky and desperately grip on the tablecloth. I was trying to keep myself together, but was starting to let a few whimpers escape out of my mouth. I was beyond devastated.

- ...Was that really necessary, Simon...?

- Ghost. To you, I'm Lieutenant Ghost.

And that was the final blow.
I had no strenght left in me; I wanted to die. He did the unthinkable, as always.
I chuckled out of hopelessness. Even in the midst of a torrent of pained tears and grief, I chuckled. I calmly reached out for my neck and unclasped the necklace that he gave me. I gently placed in front of him on the table, together with the new parachute bracelet. He glanced at me with a horrified look in his eyes.

- Thank you for everything, Lieutenant... I wish you nothing but the best in your life.

- Elise...

- Permission to leave the table, Lieutenant. - my tears couldn't stop falling.

- ...Permission granted, soldier. Dismissed.

I got up from my seat and saluted him. I could feel all the team eyes on me, witnessing the disgrace that just happened. I didn't even think about getting breakfast anymore; lost my appetite. I calmly walked back to the bedroom, holding my mouth to not scream and wail in the middle of the hallway. I threw myself on the bed, and the suffering was too overwhelming to be suppressed any longer.
I ugly cried, sobbing uncontrollably on a pillow. A heated discussion was exploding at a distance, but I didn't care to hear it. I was in deep pain, like a piece of my heart had been ripped out and minced to nothingness.

I cried myself to sleep.
Nothing else mattered anymore.
Fuck this world.
To hell with my life.