Accidentally in Love [Brett Hand x OC]

16

The meeting in the war room was pretty useless, Brett made a 'drone throne' but then proceeded to crash it within 5 minutes of testing it out.

Reagan tried desperately to keep everyone's attention, but no one was paying any attention to her. Everyone fell silent, however, when J.R appeared on the screen,

"Great news, everyone! We've officially purchased the dating app RightSwipe." He said excitedly, holding out the data chip for them to see. "We now have a blackmailer's ransom in personal data." As he said this, the surrounding screens lit up with a bunch of dating profiles.

"Oh my God, it's every profile in DC." Reagan breathed, "Including Myc's? Huh, 'Mold diggers swipe left.'"

"Andre identifies as... alwayssexual?" Theo read off the screen with a mildly disgusted frown.

"Surprise, surprise, it says Gigi's attracted to power." Reagan said as she spotted Gigi's profile.

"Power is attracted to me, honey." Gigi said proudly. "Yo, Theo, I don't see your name up here."

"I don't have an account. I don't need dating apps to get laid." Theo said smugly.

"Hey-" Myc began to have a go at Theo but J.R interrupted.

"Anyway, with all this user data, we finally have enough dick pics to blackmail the two remaining branches of government we don't control." He said as the screens now displayed a bunch of dick pics.

Everyone groaned, shielding their eyes from the screens, except for maybe Andre who was probably enjoying it.

"Reagan, I want you working late sorting through these dicks." J.R instructed.

"Yes, sir." She responded quite professionally for someone who was going to be spending their nights looking through dick pics.

"Three-to-one odds it's the first dick she's seen in months." Theo grinned, looking around at her coworkers eagerly.

"Oh, I'll take that action!" Gigi exclaimed, as the rest of them pulled out their wallets and threw money into the centre of the table.

"Oh, hell yeah, that's easy money."

"What the hell? What is that? Are you betting on my dating life?" Reagan demanded, her hands on her hips angrily.

"More like winning on your dating life." Andre said smugly, "Four-to-one she dies alone!"

Even Brett chucked some money into the pile, "Sorry, Reagan, nothing personal." He shrugged, "Well, we're gambling on when you'll finally get a boyfriend... so I guess it's incredibly personal."

"Ugh, why is everyone so obsessed with me getting a boyfriend?" Reagan demanded, as Myc placed his tentacle on her head,

"Wow, when she said 'boyfriend', she was picturing the older brother from Boy Meets World." Myc let out a laugh, "That's how long it's been." Reagan swatted Myc's tentacles away, a deep frown on her face.

"I can't imagine you with a guy. Don't you reproduce by cell division?" Andre said with a giggle.

"Oh my God, you're right." Theo breathed, "She's just gonna split into two one day and we'll be stuck with two, identical Reagans."

"Fine. How about this for a bet?" Reagan said determinedly, "I'm changing this week's mission. Double or nothing, I'll have a boyfriend by next week." She approached the white board and rubbed out what was written, replacing it with the new mission, "Then maybe you idiots will stop gossiping about me and focus on work for once!"

She proceeded to climb onto the table, and pull out her phone. "DC, prepare to date Reagan Ridley!" She said as she took a photo and uploaded it to RightSwipe. Her new profile appeared on the screen, along with the hundreds of dick pics already displayed.

Everyone yelled in fright from the photo, from the unflattering angle of Reagan to the dick pics in the back, it was clear that this week's mission was going to be a hard one.

"Jesus Christ!"

"Fuuucking hell."

"Subtle."

•

"Hey, line up!" Theo snapped at the hoard of people crowding around the table.

"Put me down for 5 Gs!"

Glenn approached the table where Myc, Gigi and Theo were running some more bets, it seems that they had gotten a bit obsessed with betting on other people's dating lives, and now their attractiveness.

"What are you betting on now?" The dolphin-man spoke, somewhat confused by all the ruckus.

"It turns out RightSwipe keeps an attractiveness score for every user." Theo explained, flipping the computer to show Glenn.

"Brett's a perfect ten!" Gigi added excitedly.

"It's an honor just to be objectified." Brett spoke seriously, pocketing the wads of cash he just won.

"What am I?" Glenn also seemed quickly invested, "Wait, don't tell me. Subtract a point for being divorced, add one for being a veteran." He pondered, "Then there's the face... But I got a lot of baseball cards, so-"

Theo put him through the system and it calculated a score, which turned out to be a zero.

"A goddamn zero?" Glenn demanded, "How's that even possible? It's on a one-to-ten scale!" Theo hid her laugh behind her hand, sharing an amused look with Gigi.

"Those numbers don't mean anything." Brett placed a hand on Glenn's back reassuringly, "It's about what's in your heart."

"Says you, Hemsworth." Glenn spat. "If I could coast on my looks like you, I'd be on easy street!"

"Guys, you don't think people just like me for my looks, do you? I mean..." Brett looked to the ground.

"Sweetie, don't frown." Gigi said soothingly, "It ruins the part of you that people like."

"Hey," Theo said quickly, "no, Brett don't worry, people like you for more than your looks."

"Thanks, Theo." He smiled earnestly.

"That's very sweet and all, but ever since I merged my DNA with a dolphin, my life has been shit!" Glenn said, "When I try to unlock my phone with my face, it sends out an Amber Alert. I bet if you had to live a week with this mug, you'd be begging me to switch back!"

Gigi, Myc and Theo glanced at each other excitedly, "We'll take that action!"

•

Recruiting the help of Andre, they all piled into his lab where Brett and Glenn would undergo a face swap.

"Y'all are swapping faces. First man to ask for their face back loses. Any questions?" Gigi explained to the two men, Glenn seemed ecstatic and Brett looked downright determined to prove Glenn wrong.

"Are you kidding? Just get this face off of me!" Glenn exclaimed.

"Yes, Face/Off! That's my favorite movie where faces come off!" Brett said with enthusiasm.

"This is gonna take a lot of anaesthetic." Andre said, before huffing anaesthetic from the mask. "All right, let's do some John Woo shit!"