Accidentally in Love [Brett Hand x OC]

27

"Look what you did." Tamiko snapped at Rand, "Mother's coming to save you!"

"With what, veiled criticism?" Rand scoffed, the pair of them running to the boat and jumping in it.

"Are you serious?" Reagan exclaimed, looking at her parents incredulously. Theodora groaned and plonked herself down, bringing her knees to her chest.

"I'm serious. Drive." Harold pointed the gun to Reagan.

"He's serious." Theo muttered, and so Reagan drove off.

"I'm telling you, the Earth is not flat!" Rand said to Harold as they drove away from the yacht, "I made the whole thing up. You were gullible before, why can't you be gullible now?"

"Brilliant, Rand." Tamiko folded her arms and eyed her ex-husband with a look of distaste, "Taunt the man with the gun."

"You got a better plan?"

"We had a plan, but you guys ruined it," Theo snapped, "because all you ever do is hurt each other and create a big ol' shitstorm that rains down on us!" She gestured to Reagan and herself. Tamiko and Rand exchanged a guilty glance.

"So when do we get to the edge?" Harold asked, his tone bored.

"Soon. We just have to maintain our heading of 140 degrees at 25 knots," Reagan said, speaking deliberately into her headset, "which are specific coordinates that we are going to, Glenn... I mean, Harold."

They drove in silence for a while, everyone praying that Glenn had heard Reagan's message and figured out that she was taking them to the portal to the Hollow Earth.

Thankfully they did, because when they arrived, the portal was definitely opening. "Bruce Almighty." Harold breathed as they neared the portal.

"Welcome to the edge of flat Earth." Reagan said proudly.

"It's true! It's really true! Take that, empirical evidence!" Harold exclaimed.

"Uh oh." Rand said, as they began drifting closer and closer to the portal.

"Uh, why are we drifting towards that huge waterfall?" Tamiko raised her eyebrow.

"Holy shit." Theo mumbled, standing up so she could see better.

"Hang on!" Reagan yelled, putting the boat in reverse, but it was not much of a help.

"Uh, Reagan, honey, time to go full throttle." Rand said.

"Yes! Yes! Keep going." Harold urged.

"I swear on my divorce lawyer's Maserati, I will not die next to this asshole!" Tamiko yelled.

"Ah, you can make an abyss feel claustrophobic!" Rand spat back.

"Will you shut up?" Reagan yelled, before they all began screaming as they approached the edge of the portal.

"Oh?" They stopped suddenly, and Theo peered over the boat, Glenn had saved them, stopping the boat from tipping over the edge.

"Glenn!" Theo grinned, as they all sighed in relief.

"You made it to the edge, Harold." Reagan said, "Yay! Let's go home."

"Home? No way. I wanna keep going." Harold said.

"But you can't. It's the edge." Theodora frowned at him.

"Yeah, and when you go over it, it wraps around to the other side of the Earth like in Pac-Man." He replied, "Oh, I finally get to see Australia!"

"Oh Jesus Christ." Rand mumbled.

"Harold, YouTube and Joe Rogan are lying for your money and attention." Reagan explained, "Most conspiracies are just capitalism."

"Girls, you fulfilled my life's dream. You don't have to come with me, but I'm going to a land down under." Harold said, stepping towards the edge.

"Harold, wait." Reagan said quickly, "Listen, this is not the Earth's edge. This is the portal to the Earth's core. Remember the sea monsters on old maps? They're down there!"

"Pfft! Okay, what do I look like, an idiot?" Harold scoffed, before stepping off the edge, "G'day, mate!"

Theo peered over the edge, watching him fall. She snorted, before catching sight of her family's horrified expressions she covered her laughs.

"Don't feel bad, darling." Tamiko placed a hand on Reagan's shoulder, "He's in a better place now."

"Yeah, you'd... Come on, totally." Rand said, "Mole people are like four feet tall. They'll treat him like he's a king." Theo laughed loudly, exchanging an amused look with her father.

"Let's get out of here." Reagan said sadly, "Just try not to fight on the ride back, okay? It's the least you can do for making me miss my flight."

As she ripped her ticket up, the rest of them exchanged guilty glances. "I'm sorry, Reagan. And Theo, our uncoupling has been anything but conscious." Tamiko said.

"And I'm tired of being the bitter ex." Rand shrugged, "Maybe it's time to bury the hatchet."

"What do you mean?"

"We got our bride. We got our witnesses." Rand said.

"The sunset is perfect right now." Tamiko considered it.

"Tamiko, will you remarry me?" Rand took Tamiko's hands. Reagan and Theo exchanged a horrified look.

"No! No!" Reagan yelled, "No! Glenn!" Glenn, who had recruited the help of some seals, dragged Rand off the boat.

"Now that we took care of that," Reagan sighed, "Mom, do you take you to be your bride, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health for as long as you... both shall live?"

"I do." Tamiko said earnestly.

"By the power vested in me by the Deep State, I now pronounce you spiritually renewed." Reagan exclaimed, "You may kiss the... you!"

Both girls stood there as Tamiko pretended to kiss herself, which was sort of disturbing but sweet nonetheless.

The rest of the wedding guests had been rescued, and Reagan drove them to the rescue ship, and they were helped on board.

"The party's continuing, right?" Theodora climbed the steps to her friends.

"Theo!" Jasper approached her, embracing her in a tight hug, "Thank God you're okay." Brett watched, before his eyes lowered to his feet.

"The Coast Guard said they can tow your yacht in to shore." He moved over to J.R.

"I got a better plan. Look." J.R grinned, pointing to a massive octopus looking creature that emerged from the water.

"Is that a kraken?" Brett asked tentatively.

"Hell yes. I'm about to collect on my yacht insurance policy." J.R rubbed his hands together in anticipation.

"Hey, has anyone seen Jeff Bezos?" Gigi asked, looking around.

"Wasn't he still on the yacht?" Andre asked, the same moment that the kraken engulfed the ship and disappeared back into the water.

They all stood there in shock, "I can't believe Jeff Bezos is dead," J.R said, "and right in his prime."

Everyone burst out laughing as the ship sailed away.