Accidentally in Love [Brett Hand x OC]

26

The flat-earthers had officially taken over the boat, holding them hostage until they were taken to the edge of the earth, which was unlikely to happen.

"Hand over your wallets, cell phones, and any spherical objects." The main flat-earther was going around to each table and forcing them to place their possessions into the bag.

"Fuck that." Jasper held onto his wallet and phone tightly.

"Jasper," Theo hissed angrily, "the guy has a fucking gun. Put them in the bag dumbass." She placed her own things in the bag. Jasper sighed heavily, before placing his things in.

"Robots? Aliens? I knew it." The flat-earther approached Myc, Andre and Gigi. "It's the Deep State. My theories are all correct." 

"I'm not an alien." Myc said matter-of-factly, "I'm a subterranean sentient mushroom from a hive cluster-"

"Okay, that's a lot to remember, so you're an alien." He responded before turning to the rest of the group, "Now which one of you Illuminatis is gonna tell me where the edge of the Earth is?"

"This is your fault." Tamiko turned to Rand, "Everything you touch comes unglued. Our marriage, our children..."

"Of course Reagan and Theo are screwed-up." Rand spat, "They spent nine months inside of you!"

Theo rolled her eyes as Reagan snuck off, everyone was too busy focusing on their parents bickering to even notice. "Now is not the time." She muttered to them.

Andre started to hyperventilate, "I'm having a panic attack. I need to calm myself with calming noises." He mumbled, "Scat, scat, scat! A-ooh, a-ooh!"

"Actually, uh, can you shoot me?" Myc asked the flat-earther.

"Quiet! Someone tells me how to get to the edge of the Earth, or a hostage dies every hour, starting with the richest man in the world." He walked up to J.R and Brett, who were sitting with Jeff Bezos.

He pointed the gun at Brett, which now made sense why he was wearing fancy clothing, J.R must have given him a solo mission.

"Wh... what about Bezos?" Brett mumbled as he was seized by two other flat-earthers.

"He's the second-richest man."

"Second?" Jeff Bezos frowned.

"Unless you've been lying."

"Even though we are both wealthy enough that the actual number is abstract and meaningless, and anyone in their right mind would just pay their taxes," Brett said tentatively, "I am, in fact, the richer man. I accept my fate."

As they dragged Brett away, Theo turned to Rand, "If they shoot Brett, I'll kill you." She hissed. "This is all your fault."

"Calm down, kiddo. I'm sure they won't-" Rand started, but then Reagan was apparently found hiding behind a table with a spear in hand, so she was tied down to a chair.

"I need some kind of distraction so I can fix the ship's radio and call for help." Reagan whispered, "Can you guys help me out here?"

"Have you read The Secret?" Tamiko asked, "We could try manifesting a little positivity."

"Manifest my ass!" Rand yelled.

"Will you two shut up?" The flat-earther yelled, "If I wanted to listen to parents arguing, I would've stayed in me and my mom's bedroom."

"Actually, they won't shut up unless you let our mom finish her wedding and lock our dad in a room downstairs." Theodora spoke up, an idea coming to her. "Do that, and we will take you to the Earth's edge." She looked at Reagan for backup.

For once, she seemed to be on board with this idea, and nodded fervently.

"Finally. All right, lock him up." The flat-earther said. "Lock all their Deep State friends up."

And so, finally, they were able to go through with the wedding, starting where they left off.

"And now for the exchange of the ring." Gwyneth Paltrow was saying.

"Oh no! I forgot the ring!" Reagan gasped dramatically, 

"We'll be right back. Harold, do me a favor and read Corinthians." Theo added, pushing the flat-earther in front of the microphone.

Reagan and Theo snuck off to fix the radio, 

"Check this out." Reagan hissed, picking up an echo dot that Jeff Bezos had given out for free, making some adjustments to it. She then slid them into the room as a distraction.

"Hello. What do people think is round but is actually flat?" The echo dots said.

"Uh, the Earth." One of the flat-earthers said.

"No, your balls." The echo dots proceeded to blow up, and Reagan kicked the door down, the both of them running inside.

"Okay, just patch this baby up, and everything will be back under control." Reagan murmured, opening the ruined radio. "Theo, keep watch."

"Alright." Theo bent down to grab one of the guns the unconscious flat-earthers had. She stood at the door as Reagan fixed the radio, gun in hand.

"Do you even know how to use one of those?" Reagan asked over her shoulder as she worked on the radio.

"Can't be that hard." Theo shrugged, pointing the gun in front of her and pretending to aim at something.

"Ha ha! Easy-peasy." Reagan mumbled to herself as she finished. "There we go. Mayday, Mayday. We've been hijacked by pirates. I've diffused the situation, but we're gonna need backup." She said into the radio. "Our coordinates are 40.3 north..."

"Reagan!" Theo interrupted her, catching sight of the chaos that was unfolding downstairs.

"What the fuck?" Reagan exclaimed, and they both ran out onto the deck, looking down on everyone fighting. "Mom! Dad!" They looked around for their parents, eventually spotting them fighting.

"Oh my God." Theo mumbled as they ran down the stairs to them.

"Congratulations. It's total fucking chaos!" Reagan yelled, and their parents stopped fighting to look at their daughters. "You know what, Mom? I am taking your advice, and I am worrying about myself. Have fun solving your own problems."

Reagan took large strides to the dinghy on the side of the yacht, hopping in. "Time for my own me-rriage, dickwads."

"Wait for me, Reagan." Theo dropped the gun she was holding and ran after her sister, jumping onto the boat after her.

"Oh no, you don't." Harold was hot on their tracks, "You're taking me to the edge of the Earth, one way or another." He pointed his gun at them, lowering the boat to the water. Why the fuck did I drop my gun, Theo cursed herself.