Woe is desire

Ch 10

Do I want to talk about it right now? He's my boyfriend so am I required to? I circulated these questions through my head while hugging his and decided to hold off for a little while, let him talk about his day first. I had to insist he do that actually because he only wants to hear about me, I don't know why I'm pretty boring. "Well I started the day and saw that you didn't text me which was okay I know you had a hard night so I figured I'd give you space, I know you love you're space. Went to class, hung out with some friend and did a bit of archery to keep myself sharp and now I'm here. Okay your turn." He quickly ran through and passed it off to me, "Oh that's good in glad you had a good day Xavier, I missed you but I did appreciate the space. Enid braided my hair because I wasn't feeling well and I've kinda just been here all day." I told him back.
"Are you okay?" He asked
"Depends are we talking about the panic attack or not feeling well?" I responded
"Well both I guess."
"Honestly not too sure how to describe it other than bad, it kinda humanized me and I hate it. Even right now I can feel the stress and lack of eating making me nauseas again" I responded
"Well let's get you in... wait lack of eating? How long this time?" He asked me but I got nervous to tell him and before I could answer I knew I was going to get sick again, I ran past him into our bathroom and threw up again. This is disgusting. I was very quickly followed by Xavier and he immediately got down on the floor with me and rubbed my back, "Hey hey hey, are you okay? Let me get you some water." He offered and grabbed me a cup, "Yeah this already happened today I've just been having issues eating with my nerves and I think it's making everything worse. I'll be better soon." I didn't tell him this also happened last night out fear for worrying him.
"So how long has it been since you've eaten?" He asked gently.
"Technically three hours but after throwing it all of it's been over a week." I told him, I tried to look casual so I didn't feel as bad about it even though I did. Seeing his face drop like that broke my heart. He didn't say anything he just pulled me in and hugged me.
  After I cleaned up he picked me up and brought me to my bed where we laid down together in silence. Not angry silence but comfortable accepting silence that he knew I needed.
  I kept shifting uncontrollably however though because I couldn't find a position that wasn't giving me stomach cramps. Xavier took notice and put a soothing hand on my stomach to try to comfort me, it was a small act but it made me feel better. He stayed the night again to make sure I was okay, I was not however I got sick again in the morning.
  Following that he decided to take me to Jericho so we could have a bigger meal and shop for some safe foods for me to feel comfortable going to. It was small stuff but it worked. During breakfast we discussed the trial, which was about two weeks away. I felt much more calm today despite it being one of the first times I've been back in Jericho. He reassured me again that nothing would happen with Tyler and we'd be okay. I'd like to hope my time involved was short but I had a lot of evidence against him and Thornhill. I also decided to speak for Eugene in this because despite his attack the courts gave him an option due to the trauma he had left.
   Our last stop was going to be the Weathervane for coffee but as I got closer to it I got nervous and decided against it, last time I was there I was kissed against my will because I thought I loved someone. "No coffee today?" My real love asked me.
"Not from there" I responded turning from the shop.
  From there we moved towards Nevermore and ran into Sheriff Galpin. "Hey kids what are you doing out here isn't it a school day?" He asked us.
"We are allowed time off classes to prepare for our testimonies at Tyler's trial." I explained
"So you came back to town?" He questioned further.
"Wednesday wasn't feeling well and needed to eat well today so I took her to breakfast." Xavier explained behind me.
"Never seen anything stop an Addams, especially this one but if you're sick then feel better Mrs Addams and you take good care of her today. We all know she gets slippery if something catches her eye." He gave a warning joke to Xavier, both of the boys laughed for a minutes until I felt a wave of nausea hit me and I must have noticeably reacted because Xavier put his hands on my shoulders to stabilize me. "You okay Wens," he asked me and I felt dizzy and neaseated still but I gave him a little nod to try to convince him I did. It however didn't work on either of them and Galpin ended up offering us a ride back to campus which Xavier happily accepted for us.
  Shortly after we got back to campus we headed to Xavier's room to decompress a bit and relax. "You okay, you got dizzy out there?" He asked me.
"Yeah it went away a bit but I still feel gross." I responded
"Well bathroom is over there if you need it and I'll prepare a little meal for you when you come out to get it back in you." He offered.
  I was hopeful that I wouldn't have to take him up on his offer but unfortunately I did and after I got out of the bathroom he had a set of crackers, cheese, peanut butter and fruit laid out for us.
  I reached for the crackers and peanut butter first to settle my stomach then had a bit of the fruit. I then however had the intrusive thought to add cheese to the peanut butter cracker and surprisingly I did, and then I did it again, and again. Xavier must have thought I lost it and the look on his face confirmed it but satisfying the craving made me and my body satisfied so I don't even care right now.