Woe is desire

Ch 11

Another week passed and we are closing in on the trial, my nerves have been on and off but my eating habits have gotten better I think, I actually haven't stopped eating. My body is not used to that though and I've been getting sick again, not as often as last week but I think my body is just having a hard time getting back on track. I'm reattending my classes as usual too so things seem to be on their way up for me for now, just the trial and then back to normal.
Xavier's also been sorta watching me like a hawk, no in an overbearing way. Just making sure I'm doing better. I think I've actually started worrying him with how much I'm eating. "Alright Wednesday, I'm cutting you off from research." Xavier scolded me down in the Nightshade library. "Why is that?" I asked him back.
"I don't want you to have another panic attack, you're already shaking a bit again and acting very erratic looking for books. That's not like you. You've been doing better let's keep it that way." He said to me and took hold of my hands to comfort them. "I'm fine Xavier, I'm not used to feeling emotional so I haven't been coping well." I responded
"Emotional? Not my Wednesday, are you sick again?" He asked
"No it's just been a tough few weeks." I pulled my hands away frustratingly, I don't need my emotions babysat. I just walked off to another part of the library where I was surprisingly met by Bianca, "Oh, Bianca, how long have you been there?" I asked her
"Long enough to hear your little lovers quarrel." She said and smirked
"It's not a lovers quarrel, we're just trying to stay prepared for the trial." I said and Xavier followed behind me and agreed. Neither of us wanted Bianca to know because she would tell everyone.
"Mhmm sure you two. Whatever Wednesday I'd listen to Xavier though that trial is barely a week away and you don't wanna be a mess at." Bianca also lectured me
"Fine." I said and turned to walk out of the library.
   I made it a good ways out before Xavier caught up to me. He gently grabbed my hand and pulled me into a hug, "I know you're scared but it's okay." He comforted and I simply hugged him back. He's right Tyler terrifies me, not as a Hyde but because he's a piece of shit, a manipulative piece of shit. That doesn't matter now, everything is right in my life now, the schools safe, Enid and I are closer and I have Xavier. What could possibly go wrong at this point.
   Xavier suggested we get food but I was feeling crappy again so I decided to go back to my dorm and just catch up on my writing. "Well okay but expect me to come by with food." He said and I just smiled and nodded. Before we parted ways though I pulled him into a quiet spot and snuck a much needed kiss.
  Back in my dorm I sat at my desk ready to write and distract myself with my writing, it was just me and Thing, nothing could get in the way. I was wrong I threw up again very quickly after I got there. I knew it was coming but I was hoping it wouldn't. Maybe I did need to eat today? Do I want chicken nuggets? It's been a while. Before I knew it I was texting Xavier to get me some. No one has known the extent of how sick I've been but I don't want to scare anyone so I've kept it to myself. Thing has wanted to tell Enid but I'm waiting until I have to. Until then the little guy has just been around to hold my braids and rub my back.
  I recovered quickly and went back to my writing until Xavier knocked at my door and I let him in. He of course delivered the chicken nuggets. "At this rate I could have just asked you to be my assistant." I joked
"Yeah but then you wouldn't get this." He teased before he sat on my bed and pulled me onto his lap and kissed me hard, it felt so good. We lost ourselves in it but stopped before we went too far, "I don't think I can go all the way right now. I want to but I don't think I can handle it right now." I stopped and told him.
"That's okay Wens whatever you want it's fine." He reassured me, "How about we eat?" I suggested.
  I stayed in his lap and began opening the food to eat it. It was just as good as last time and it satisfied the craving for it, never thought I'd crave chicken nuggets but here I am and honestly I'm fine with that for now.
  Enid came back a little while later and greeted us as seeing Xavier was now a regular occurrence, as was seeing her and Ajax. "Hey guys I'm just gonna go to bed early I'm tired." She told us and walked toward the bathroom to get ready. I was getting pretty tired too and took this as a sign to go to bed as well. I decided to kick Xavier out for the night as well and get some alone time.
  He left easily and gave me a kiss goodnight before Enid reappeared from the bathroom, "You kick out Xavier?" She asked.
"Yeah I needed some more me time, I didn't get much writing done today and I want to." I explained
"Okay well I'm going  to bed I had a long day of catching up on work, night Wens." She nodded off and climbed into bed.
  I on the other hand went to shower and got back go working on my novel, I feel better now that i satisfied one of my cravings. Which is pretty weird because I've never had an issue with that but I'm not going to put much thought into it.
  Before I knew it it was already midnight, Enids been asleep for hours and I'm exhausted.  I think I'm just going to go to bed now too. I crawled in and although I would normally sleep with my arms over my chest I've grown used to Xavier's company at night and thing made his way over to me so I shared the bed with him and held him while we slept.
  I was awoken shortly after however by a sharp cramp in my stomach so I ran to the bathroom, I assume I just got my period. However I was wrong, maybe a symptom it's coming? I was shocked again by another sharp pain however that made me instinctively put my hands over that spot and to my shock I was struck by a vision. It was short but I could feel the life in it, so small it was barely there but I could tell it was. But in me...? Fuck.