Woe is desire

Ch 20

Now 10 weeks pregnant and I've started showing more but not enough for people to notice. Xavier and Enid have been pointing out my growing but otherwise no one suspects a thing. I've been spending a lot of time in the nightshade library to get my alone time, not a ton of people come down here these days except me of course. My heart has softened since last semester and since being pregnant but deep down I'm still a cold blooded person. It's just the boyfriend and baby and werewolf make it hard sometimes.
Maintaining the personality is hard sometimes in the courtroom since I've become more emotional against my will and the last thing I need is to show it in front of Tyler.    There is a dark part of me that wants to show it off in front of him, he screwed up what he had with me and I want him to regret it by seeing what Xavier has made me. Not just a mother but he's turned me into a woman and somewhat of a person.
  I felt sick down here and wanted to stay in my nook, the morning sickness has come and gone, but occasionally it still comes back. The alert I got on my phone shook me however, "Tyler Galpin of Jericho subdued after an attempt to break out of prison was made." It read.
"Holy shit." I said out loud, he's getting stronger and no doubt angrier. And I have to be in court with him. Weekly. This is a very dangerous situation now, I'm at risk, Xavier is at risk and our child. I don't know what I'd do if anyone got hurt. I must find a way to block his Hyde from coming out.
  I raced over to the books on Hyde's and started reading as fast as I could which proved very difficult given my current state. My breathing quickened and my slight neasea quickly became overwhelming and I had to run over to the bathroom and throw up.  My phone buzzed a few times and I could only assume it was updated on his attempted prison break. I know it was irrational but I couldn't stop myself from thinking the worst, it was probably just Enid asking where I was.
  I saw back from the toilet but immediately got up to rinse the taste out of my mouth. Everything is spinning right now, have I eaten today? God and I having another panic attack? "Fuck it's getting bad again" I cried to myself and pushed my back against the wall for support. I couldn't catch my breath and my vision was going foggy, I placed my hand back on the book and was sent into a vision.
  It was of sheriff Galpin, a woman and a baby who I'm assuming was his wife and son. She was taking the baby from him and little Tyler was already showing Hyde signs so she took him to another room and injected him with something. I recognized it as the color of nightshades but very diluted. "I'm sorry son I know this hurts but it's for your own good." The baby was cry and I could see the blue spread through his veins and then nothing, he went back to being a normal sleeping baby.
  I dropped the book and it made a loud thud hitting the floor, my visions faded but I wasn't improving. My mind is racing with the thought of Tyler escaping but now the knowledge of a temporary cure gives me home.
  My head was screaming, my lungs burning and my consciousness fading. I was being dragged back down into my dark, dark self and I've been so not me lately I can't pull myself out. I felt my legs give out, "Wednesday! Holy shit."  I heard a female voice yell, my fall my cushioned by someone else's body. I didn't know who at the moment but thank god because I could have really hurt my baby.
   "Oh my god Wednesday are you okay? What the hell, snap out of it." She yelled to me on the ground, I finally recognized the voice. It was Bianca trying to wake me up. If she knew what I was she would have let me fall. She loves Xavier and he's mine. I'll act like I don't know as much as I can but I hope she moves on.
"Wednesday, Jesus what was that." She panicked.
"Nothing! Nothing. I'm fine I just got really caught up in some reading." I replied back, I was still laying on my side where she put me and she had a hand on my shoulder and waste trying to shake me awake.
"No you didn't that's not like you. What's wrong you can tell me." She insisted. I quickly shot up to sit and face her. I scrambled to grab my book and place it in front of my belly and I sorta explained, "Tyler tried to escape and I came across some reading that showed a temporary antidote to block his Hyde. Touching the book sent me into a memory of his mom treating him with it and that's all. See everything is fine." I said hastily, I must look very suspicious to her right now.
   "Wow okay that is a lot, let me take the book and I'll see what I can find. You take a break and I'll text you if I find anything helpful." She offered and I wanted to refuse any kind of help she could offer but it's not her fault she doesn't know about me and Xavier. For now we're "friends" and I wasn't in the position to say no. I handed her the book reluctantly and quickly left the library.
  I look like a disaster and I had to go find Xavier, I believe he told me he'd be in his shed all day so that's where I went. I ran through the woods to him, I was so flustered I didn't notice the person following me through the woods. Their footsteps sounded heavy as I noticed them catch up and I heard the sharp sound of a sword being pulled from its sheath.