Overwatch x Reader

Hanzo x Reader: Restless Nights

A little short little read to last the Hanzo stans during the Cassidy x Reader rampage. 

Sometimes, you can't sleep. Your mind gets flooded with thoughts and it is hard to shut your brain off. Sometimes, the killing, whether good or bad, just gets to you. It doesn't matter if they're talon or some other bad person, it's another person killed. That's why I was up, sipping on some chamomile tea Ana gave to me. She said it would help calm me down during these restless nights, but it isn't settling my mind. The tv in the lounge is the only light in the room, playing an old kids movie I've seen a thousand times. I try to focus on the screen and find the comfort within it, but I can't stop the thoughts rushing into my mind. This wasn't the first time this has happened, but this one seemed to be the hardest. I wish I could just sleep it off, wish I could close my half-open eyes, but I just can't. Every time I close my eyes, I see the same scene over and over again.

"You're awake?" A voice makes me flinch. I turned to see Hanzo standing there in a set of pajamas; an old t-shirt from some kind of sport and fuzzy sweatpants with dragons all over. We hung out from time to time, often just us silently doing our own thing. He writes in his poetry book, and I read my novels. He practices his archery and I work on reports. Sometimes, we are together; he orders sushi or makes a ramen bowl. I bake some cookies or brownies from a box. I liked him, he was like the sound of ocean waves to me. But there wasn't a word I could pinpoint to what our relationship could be. We weren't friends, we weren't like siblings, and we never crossed the line towards romance. Maybe there were moments where he could've leaned in or could've held me closer, but he never crossed the boundary. I wasn't surprised he'd be up so late; he's told me that he's had trouble falling asleep because of his past. But I wouldn't think that we'd be awake at the same time.

I sighed, "I can't sleep. How about you?" I pat the seat next to me, inviting him to join me in my restless night extravaganza. He walks over and sits down, shifting the weight of the couch.

"I can't sleep either." He looks at the tv, tilting his head like he does every time he's confused. "Are you watching Frozen?"

"It's the only kids movie we have that's free. Mei bought it a few months ago." I explained, keeping my eyes on the screen but it wasn't working. My brain was still awake, still thinking, still remembering. I rubbed my face; stop focusing on that Y/n. Focus on Anna trying to find Elsa.

A warm hand touches my lap, bringing me back to reality. "Are you ok?" Hanzo asks, looking at me with concern. I felt my cheeks heat up, but I try to remain calm.

"Not really." I frowned, "I can't stop thinking about last mission." The visions flashed briefly: the adrenaline rush, the fear, the smell of gun smoke and blood.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He spoke hesitantly, like he was walking on eggshells.

"I..." I don't want to think about it, talking about it just feels like it would be worse. "I don't know what to do. Nothing that usually helps is working." I felt like crying. This felt hopeless, like I was going to be stuck feeling this pain forever.

"I have dealt with this problem, long before I joined Overwatch." He spoke solemnly. "I thought I killed Genji; it was... hard to live with that pain." He looks away from me, lost in his own thoughts. "It's not as bad as it once was, but it still lingers." He sighed, "I used to drink when the memories were too much. I went onto other mindless hobbies, knitting, painting, carving wooden trinkets. But sometimes your hands tire and the past consumes you."

"I wish we had the technology to take these bad memories out of our minds sometimes." I lean against his shoulder, not really thinking about how close I was or what it would mean. I just wanted his warmth, his light. To feel like I wasn't alone in the mist, surrounded by my demons.

"As much as I wish to, I don't think I could. I don't want to forget my mistakes, as painful as they are. Because I find life much more beautiful now than I did before. I am building a relationship with my brother, far stronger than before. I'm working to help other people less fortunate. And I have you."

I grinned, "Really?"

"W-well." He stammered, already clamming up. "You and other people whom I'm friends with is what I meant to say."

I giggled; I just couldn't help it with him acting all flustered. "I feel better already." I teased.

"You do?" He asked confused.

"Yea, I like being one of the beautiful things in your life." I smiled, "You're one of mine, too."

Hanzo grew silent, his shoulders tensing up. I didn't move from my spot by his side; I knew it would take time for him to process how I felt towards him. I watched the screen as I waited for him to calm down, only to have the arm I was leaning on bring me closer towards his chest. I could hear his heart pounding against his chest, looking up at him to see his red face while he tried to hold a serious pout. I chuckled, snuggling closer towards him as I snake my arms around his waist, feeling the curve of each muscle.

"I heard cuddling helps." He said as he tried to keep a serious face despite his bashful demeanor.

"Where did you hear that from?" I teased.

"A-a trusted source." He stumbles on his words. I giggled, rising up from his chest to kiss the side of his cheek before resting my head against his chest.

"Thank you." I mumbled, already feeling a bit sleepy.

He lays back down on the couch, adjusting for comfort and grabbing a fuzzy blanket on the couch to drape over the two of us. His hands slowly rubbed my back as I drifted off to sleep.