Overwatch x Reader

Hey Sigma is a New Hero

Sigma is hero 31, and he is basically a mentally insane Mr.Rogers.

(I like to call this: It's a Beautiful Melody in the Neighborhood)

The first time I saw the origin story, the music reminded me of when the blood moon would come out and respawn monster in Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. And if you think about it, Sigma is just a white Ganondorf from Ocarina of Time. 

It bothers me that he has no shoes tbh. Like for person that is 62, he should know how to tie his shoes. Is it just because he can float, he doesn't want to wear footwear? Is it the extra weight on his feet that bothers him? Do shoes affect whether or not he can float? Either way, he should at least wear socks or something. Like there's gun shells on the floor in each battle, wear some shoes for your old man feet. Not only that, but imagine how cold his feet must be from hanging in mid air. Get this man some fuzzy socks, or his toes will fall off from the cold. 

Also I hope everyone realizes that people are gonna start shipping Moira with Sigma now. It does make sense, they're both crazy and old. Plus, they're scientists. It would be gross to see them make out though. Moira is 48... So giant age difference. But hey Edward from Twilight is 104 and settled for 17 year old Bella Swan. It's very gross. Let's not ship this shoeless man with anyone. I don't want to see this man smooch any Overwatch character no matter what age they are.

I feel bad for Sigma. He's so nice but he is also so fucked up in the brain. 

Lucio is going to beat box and Sigma is going to be like, "WhAt'S tHaT MeLoDy?!?!" And Lucio is going to be like "That my new mixtape, wanna hear it?" and Sigma is gonna be like "AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA."

He just wanted to be Isaac Newton times ten but now he's more like I-Sick Neutered. It's the only word I could think of that sounds close to Newton.

But even though he's just a floating 'Won't you be my neighbor' doesn't mean that he's totally chill af. He can absorb Ults with the power of the black hole, but I'm gonna call it the asshole. All that hard work to build the ult will go down Sigma's asshole if you're up against him.

 That is pretty frustrating, not gonna lie.

I find it weird that he can absorb McCree's Ult, like it's not like Tracer's bomb Ult or anything physically dropping down. McCree learned that skill, it can't be taken away. Is the asshole taking away the peacekeeper's bullets so McCree can't use the Ult? Or does the asshole work with any ult no matter what? So does that mean Sombra can't turn the lights off (that's what her ult translates to in English) because the asshole messes with the WIFI or changes the WIFI password? So Soldier:76 can't get you in his sights because there's an asshole in the way? But most importantly, if Reaper turns to smoke does the asshole suck him up like a vacuum? I don't have the game, I've only seen videos where the asshole absorbs Zarya, McCree, Tracer, Mei, and Hanzo's Ults because Sigma has little voice line interactions.

Speaking of voice lines, Sigma has Karaoke voice lines and I never felt more uncomfortable in my life. He's 62 and it sounds like he wants to get laid at the club. And then he sings about a Dutch cookie but I didn't know it at the time so I thought he sang something about waffles. Thank the comment section for talking about how good the Dutch cookie he said was. I guess Sigma likes cookies and is bad at flirting. Because he literally said he was gonna get down like a Dutch cookie, and I don't think cookies get down. They go up into my mouth so they can be digested and enjoyed. 

Sigma drops his cookies confirmed.

What kind of person drops cookies for fun?

This is why he was hired into Talon, not for his knowledge or his power but he is a cookie dropping monster.

He doesn't even follow the five second rule, he doesn't even bother to save the cookie once it falls on the dirty floor. 

People who hate cookies in general would love this man. This old man. This old shoeless man. 

Anyway, why is this old man so buff looking? It's kind of weird. I can't tell what his body looks like without armor and it's probably best that I don't. That's like trying to find out what Buzz Lightyear looks like without his spacesuit and I don't want to look that up. Sigma should get a Buzz Lightyear skin, or something that looks like it. OR there should be a voice interaction between McCree and Sigma where there is a toy story reference. Idk what lines they should say, the only one I can think of is Sigma saying that he's Mrs.Nesbit.

(When you hear a symphony)

Another thing before the rant is done, why is Sigma called Sigma? I know it's the name he got when he went to basically an asylum but what does it mean? I googled it and got the Greek number 18 as well as that it mean the sum and deviation in mathematical terms. I'm guessing it refers to gravity or the staff at the asylum got lazy and used the Sigma symbol just because they didn't feel like writing his name.

Ok the rant's over now, hope you've enjoyed the artish things I've made. 

Actual fanfics are at the works so stay tuned for that.

Ok have a good day.