Overwatch x Reader

Blackwatch McCree x Depressed Reader: Spiralling

Hey so it's that time of the month again for me (mood swings galore) and I have an OC for Overwatch  that gets super depressed as it becomes clear to her that Overwatch is falling the fuck a part. This is kinda based off of that but hey it's you feeling the big sad instead of my OC. I was so sad three days ago that I listened to Friends Never Say Goodbye from the movie El Dorado (good movie btw). Elton John songs are deep and cool and I decided that when he dies I will cry. OK LETS GET SAD

Warning: No self harm but other characters assume that the reader might harm his/herself even though they don't. If you are triggered by depression as a whole then you should not read this.

Btw I never had depression before so idk how accurate it's gonna be but enjoy this angsty literature

Reader POV:

It has become clear to me the more I stay here, the more I feel myself slipping away. All I want is to go backwards to unhear the things I heard. What Commander Morrison and Commander Reyes said to each other, it was the bitter truth. They were never as close as they were years ago, but I thought it was because of their own duties. That argument they had months ago said otherwise. I was just going to make copies of my notes for the next meeting, a quick and easy task. Yet I couldn't say a word or move an inch. There I stood until they left the room. As I made the copies, tears streaked my eyes. My family was beginning to fall apart. And I was left speechless.

Being Commander Morrison's assistant came with its own burdens.

I knew I had to say something about what I heard and the secrets that I've harbored to myself for so long. My insecurites, my fears, all of that I hid from the world. If anyone needed answers, it was Jesse. As much as I pushed him away, he never gave up. He was too stubborn when it comes to getting what he wanted back when he was a new recruit and I was the new assistant. It would only be unfair for him if I didn't tell him. So I wiped my tears, took my bearings, and called him immediately. 

"Hey there, can't talk right now. But call me back at a later time. Thank you kindly." 

Voicemail.

I tried Angela. Voicemail. All of my office friends. Voicemail. Even the pizza guy I befriended. Voicemail.

Everyone seemed so busy nowadays, so piled up with work. It came to a point that there was no time to talk about anything in an organization like Overwatch. McCree had to run his side missions, Angela had to heal her patients, and it only reminded me of the paperwork I had to do. That was the only thing that could keep me out of my own head. More paperwork meant a bigger distraction from the questions I began to ask myself.

Am I worth anyone's time?

Would I be better off if I was anywhere but here?

Would everyone be happy if I left?

Would anyone notice me gone?

Before I never knew the answer, but as months went by I had the answers:

No.

Yes.

Yes.

Jesse.

He's the only one that would care. After all, he is the one that tries to hang out with me at every chance he gets for reasons I start to question. Jesse started to invite me to watch him train two weeks ago, saying that he wants to impress me with his skills. I scoffed at him, remembering that one time he tried to impress me by teaching me how to shoot. Little did he know, I already knew how and his plan of getting close to me ended with him being the one impressed. Once we were at the training room, I studied him the entire time in complete silence. His stance was strong, bulky arms that could do as much damage as a bullet compared to his once slimmer build. I wanted to say something to him, but I couldn't say anything at all. All I was left to do was enjoy his company through the tension in the air.