Overwatch x Reader

McCree x Reader: Anxiety Sucks Y'all

Lowkey about Social Anxiety but also could be anyone that got Anxiety.  Overall, angsty with a side of fluff and some funny bits thrown in. 

Missions were always exhausting, especially the grouped missions with agents I didn't know very well. There were people like Jesse who would automatically fall right in with his acquaintance, always friendly and throwing a few jokes with perfect timing. Me? I barely spoke a word. I would smile and speak when spoken to, but I couldn't find the right things to say like he could. Can't help but overthink a simple 'hello'. Can't help but think about what the agents would think. "Fear is supposed to push you," Solider 76 often reminds me. I wish I could tell him all it does is make me freeze up. He's one of the few that knows about my anxiety and pitched the idea that becoming an Overwatch agent could help distract my insecurity towards people. I'd be in a place where I was forced to interact with everyone I'd come across with. I knew that I'd hate the decision in the future. I always wanted to work in Overwatch as a kid, and I loved to help other people. I didn't want my own fears to prevent me from doing what I loved... even if that means coming back from a mission mentally exhausted. It was my first mission with a team, and I couldn't avoid it. Believe me, I tried. Soldier told me that I was essential to the mission. In the back of my mind, I knew he was just saying that to make me feel important. This mission could have been done by three people. There was a hacker, a tank and Jesse- who was already skilled enough as a marksman to not need my help. I was the sniper, and I tried to do my best against the talon agents- but it just didn't feel like enough. I shot three guys, while Jesse and the tank dealt with most of the damage. My mind was clouded with the things I should have done- like how I should have shot the guy on the left before he got any closer to the hacker. The mission was a success; we got the information about talon's future attacks, but I felt like a failure. The agents must hate me now.

As we all boarded the dropship, I sat in my seat with my head down; trying to avoid the other agents' gaze. I couldn't think a single word anymore, but I felt a dark cloud hanging over me. My eyes were closed, my arms crossed, and I begun to realize I was shutting down. The other agents probably didn't care, they all must be talking about my terrible performance by now. Must be saying that I must have cheated my way through the ranks to get this far. That I don't deserve to be here. They must be right. In the back of my mind, I know it isn't- but what's gonna convince them I'm any good at my job? I can't speak without worrying and I can't prove myself useful without hesitating.

As soon as the dropship boarded off to the base, I was the first one out. I wanted to disappear- and disappear quickly. I should just hide in my room and never come out again. Become the Overwatch Hermit. Never show my face to the outside world again. Just live in my misery and failure. No one would care about me if I just lock myself in my dorm. I don't even have any friends that would care. My family is too far away to get to them. I'm better off being unknown and unworthy of everything. I don't deserve this job. If I deserved it, then Soldier wouldn't have given it to me so freely. So easily. I let him down. I let everyone down. I pushed past the nurses and medics, moving to my dorm. Those after missions check ups don't matter, I didn't need a professional to tell me I was having a breakdown. I ignored the people calling Agent L/N, I had to escape. I had to leave. I didn't bother looking where I was going, I kept my eyes on the white tiled floors and navigated the halls until I finally made it to my dorm.

"Hey! L/N!" I could hear the clicking of boots along with the sound of spurs clinking towards me. My heart began beating out of my chest and I dug in my pockets to get my key card. Stupid pockets... which one did I put that damn card into? Front pockets... nothing... back pocket for nothing.... side pockets-