Overwatch x Reader

Hanzo x Reader: Say it

Angst but fluffy at the end, kind of like half soggy cotton candy.

Hanzo's wellbeing has been one of your top priorities ever since he started to become a part of your life. He has told you pieces of his past back when he was in the Shimada clan, some fragments being happier memories than others. As much as you are glad to have him open up to you, you can tell that he was still holding back the much more painful moments of his life. There were times when Hanzo would stay up all night in the shooting range, hitting the targets in the center with perfection but still holding a displeased expression on his face. You've stepped in once and tried to ask him what was wrong, only for him to tell you to leave in an aggressive tone. He apologized for his behavior in the morning, but skipped over explaining why he was in the shooting range in the first place. There were also times where he would wake up early in the morning shaking like a leaf from nightmares he refused to say anything about; the only thing he'd let you do was hold onto him until his breathing was steady. Sometimes, you would wake up in the morning to his side of the bed empty. At first you were worried, and wanted to go find him. But a part of you knew that he just wanted to be alone. This relationship the two of you have is still new, has been for the past 6 months. However, you can't help but wonder what's going through his mind. What have you done that makes him not trust you? Does he want to be with you anymore? Are you wasting your time with someone that won't be honest with you?

"Hanzo has fallen into the same darkness as Genji once has." Zenyatta explained outside in his garden area. The sunroof gleamed down on the different plants and trees placed around the room.
He continued, "You have proven to be patient with him, but there are times where we must put our foot down."

"Put my foot down?" You raised your brow at the omnic monk, "If I say one word to the guy- he'll just leave the room!"

"He will probably leave, but at least he will know how you feel. Think of it as a way to test your relationship;see if he is committed towards you as you are towards him. This is merely a problem that needs to be worked out, not an end all."

Zenyatta always provided the best advice in situations like these. Honestly, you don't think you would be in a relationship with Hanzo without Zen's help. Even so, you were scared to speak up. With every step towards a stronger relationship felt like you were walking on eggshells. As much as Hanzo show off a tough exterior, on the inside he is really sensitive. You didn't want to put more salt into the wound as it is.

So here you are in the cafeteria, mushing up your mash potatoes as your mind delves into conflict.
"How can I tell him I'm worried about him without pushing him away?" You thought as you pressed your fork onto the now flattened potato mush.

"Good afternoon, Y/N." The robotic ring to the voice made you lift your head.

"Hello, Genji." Despite your smile, the sadness in your voice caused him to sit next to you.

His head turned as he looked around the cafeteria, "My brother isn't here. Did he do something to you?"

"No!" You said quickly. "It's just-he's been really distant."

"Typical Hanzo behavior." He joked. When you didn't laugh, he knew something was up. "But there's more to that, isn't it?"

You sighed, "Yea. It's like... I'm trying to be there for him. But he keeps putting up these walls and running off. I've tried being patient with him, but I don't know how long I can keep this up." There were tears forming in your eyes, quickly wiped away with your hands.

You felt Genji's cold cyborg hand pat your shoulder. "You should tell him how you feel. Hanzo can be... Difficult at times, but he'll come through in the end. "

Genji basically repeated what Zenyatta had already told you. It's been engraved in your head by now, just talk to Hanzo. They made it sound so easy. Talking to Hanzo about anything new took time if done wrong. Stupid new things like eating with him during the morning took persistence. He told you that being in a relationship was new to him, that doing simple couple things still felt foreign to him. Don't get started on sharing a room with him; he used to create a pillow barrier between you two. What you were asking wasn't something that could be fixed instantly or could be easily brought up without him getting pissed off. As much as would like to get it done and over with, your brain calculated all the things that could go wrong. It bothered you during the meetings, as you were writing paperwork, and as you were heading to your shared room. The hallways were less crowded, but the usual noise was substituted with your conscience. Once arriving at the door, you pressed your finger on the scanner. Looking at your watch, the time read to be 5:45. Hanzo would not be here until 7ish; he normally likes to practice his archery in the evening. As the door began to open for you, the first thing you laid your eyes on was the bow and quiver plopped down to the side of the door. There was a distinct smell of lavender candles that Angela gifted Hanzo last Christmas. The aroma lead towards the small living room area, the couches moved to give him a place to meditate. Before you could scurry away, Hanzo called out, "I know you're here, Y/N."

His voice made you jump, turning around to him rising from his sitting position.

"I'm sorry for interrupting."

"It's fine." It was not fine. His sharp tone made it clear that it wasn't fine. So why did this set off the boiling rage inside of you? Why couldn't you bite your tongue like you always did? Words fell out of your mouth before you could stop it, "Don't lie to me."

"What?"

You backpedaled, "Nothing." You went towards the door, only for his strong hand to grab your shoulder and turn you around.

"What do you mean lie to you?"

Screw it, there was never a good time to say it.

"You're not ok!" You yelled as you pushed Hanzo's hand off your shoulder. "You keep saying that you are when its obvious that you're not! You're always running off somewhere, going off to shoot some arrows. And you never tell me anything! I have to wake up every morning wondering if your kidnapped or dead! Do you know how much I worry about you? How much it pains me to see you like this? I can't even tell if you just want to break up with me because you make a routine out of driving me crazy!" Pausing your rant, you noticed the tears rolling down your eyes. "I need a moment to think." You sniffled as you walked out on a now stunned Hanzo. The wide-eyed mouth agape look he had was etched into your memory. It felt like you were finally getting back at him for all he times he wasn't there. As you stomped off in the hallways, a sinking feeling in your gut began to grow. Did Hanzo want to be with you? Does this mean your relationship is over? Your stomps quickly turned to a slow pace as you made your way to Zenyatta's garden yet again. He didn't jump when you threw the door open, just floated in his usual meditating position.

"You're back." Zen greeted you.

You flopped onto the cold tile, totally missing the cushion that was not to far from you. "I told him. And now I think that this could be the end."

"Because you doubt that Hanzo is capable of change?"

"I just feel like... He hates me now."

"Hate is a strong word." He floated towards you.

"It is." You sighed.

"Why doesn't we look at this situation from a different angle?" Zenyatta always said that line to you. Every time you come here, he'll repeat the same sentence like a record player.

"There's no other angle to look at, Zen. He doesn't want me around."

"Maybe, but Hanzo could also be processing what you said. You bottled up a lot of frustration towards his actions."

"And I left him all alone."

"You both need a moment. Hanzo is not a person that acts on instinct."

Zen's right; ever since I've known Hanzo he has always been hesitant to do anything. On our first date, he asked to hold my hand or if he could kiss my cheek. Of course, I said yes. I thought it was sweet that he made sure there was consent with every small touch he made. It took me a while to see that these cute acts extended more than just simple respect. As much as he hates to admit it, he gets anxious when it comes to making decisions. Must have been derived from the stresses of his life in the Shimada Clan, and the pressure they put on him to murder his own brother. The things I've said to him out of my lack of impatience makes me wonder if it will ever work between us. 

"Do you think we'll ever grow from this?" The words fell from my mouth, filled with the fear of the unknown.

"It's a decision that you and Hanzo made to be together. What you both need to do in order to grow is to communicate. I suggest going back and talking over your frustrations now that you are calm."

I nodded, thanking Zenyatta as I walked out the door. Where could Hanzo possibly be? 

The first place I looked was in our shared room; the couches now pushed back into their normal placement and the candles unlit. All that remained was the faint smell of lavender and the pit in my stomach. Everything has been aired out now, and I have to pick up the broken pieces. I don't want to give up on him, I want him to feel loved and cared for. I just hope that it isn't too late. 

I jumped when I heard the door open, my eyes practically popping out of my head when I saw Hanzo. His eyebrows were scrunched up and his lips holding a slight frown when he saw me. We were frozen in time, too scared to say anything to one another. The room was clouded in an unbearable lavender scented silence. And I just couldn't take it anymore. Running into his arms, I wrapped my arms around his waist tightly. My face was on his chest as I mumbled a string of apologies while he looked down at me in shock. His callused hands slowly rubbed my back as he listened to my rambles turning into illegible sobs. After the first five minutes, I looked up at him. "Well? Are you gonna say anything?" I sniffed; my tone slightly annoyed.

"You should not be sorry for what you have said. You were... right." His gaze fell to the floor, "I have been pushing you away when all you wanted to do was help me. It was wrong of me to  leave you in the dark." Hanzo then lifted his hand from my back and tilted my head to look up into his deep brown eyes. "I want you to know I never questioned my relationship with you. I like having you by my side. This time, I will make sure to show you how much I appreciate you." His soft lips pressed against mine briefly before I could blink. His frown now turned into a solemn grin, making me smile from ear to ear.

"We were both in the wrong, don't be so hard on yourself. What we should do for now on is be more vocal about what's bothering us instead of holding it in."

Hanzo hummed in agreement as he brushed my hair, putting it behind my ear. "I agree. We should seal this agreement with something." His gaze going from my eyes to my lips.

I raised my eyebrow playfully, "With what?"

As soon as I finished my sentence, he pulled into another kiss. Normally, his kisses were short and sweet. Never dragging on more than a few seconds. This kiss was longer, passionate. Like he just came back from a month long mission kind of passionate. If he was holding back this much, then I wonder what else is in the roster for me. Naturally I kissed him back with the same energy; taking in the pressure of his lips, the smell of his cologne, the taste of sake left on his lips. We both parted from the kiss yearning for another. I could see his eyes begin to dilate, making me chuckle.

"Nothing like sealing it with a kiss." I lean my forehead against his.

"I think this agreement requires more to make sure everything is in order." He teases.

"You can just say you wanna make-out, you know?" I giggled.

His face became beet red. "Can we... make out?"

"Of course we can."

That night was well spent. All the passion we had towards each other since the day we met had been unleased like a portal to hell. I didn't think Hanzo could ever be intimate, but he always manages to surprise me. As I lay in bed tangled up in bed sheets next to him, I can't help but feel like things are looking up for the both of us. We will make it.

The End.