Chupacabra | 18+ | ✔️

▪︎■ 37 ■▪︎

▪︎■ Ainara Moreno ■▪︎

The kiss wasn't good. It was great. Needed even. A smile formed on my face while I bit my lip and met his gaze.

"You certainly know how to make a statement," I repeated his words from earlier.

An angelic smile mirrored my own gesture as I crossed my arms behind his neck, resting comfortably. His one hand layed on my waist by now and his other wandered to my neck. I felt his fingertips grazing over my skin which was covered by my hair, the metal of his rings building a cold contrast. I had yet found out why I loved his rings so much; they reminded me of absolutely nothing. Nothing but him. It was rare to find something for me in a men that didn't trigger anything in me at all. Other hands could be mistaken by abusive one's but his- his kept me grounded.

Nevertheless the trail of his fingers left me feeling uneasy, knowing where they would stop, so I took his hand before he could reach my neck. I intertwined our fingers until I let his hand rest on my thigh. My gaze dropped down to it and my now free hands began to play with his ring.

"When this is all over... I want to disappear. I don't think I can do this any longer... I'm sick and tired of this shit and I can't picture myself doing it one day longer than necessary."

I meant every word, I felt the weight of my life every day and there was no end in sight. My wish to quit wasn't new, I guess I just never had the right motivation or I wasn't miserable enough for me to do something- I didn't know. Even if I wanted to, the only way out would be either death or running away.

"What do you think?" I asked and looked at him eventually.

"I think it's very difficult," he stated.

I felt a little, unreasonable sting inside my chest. Maybe because he was reasonable instead of throwing everything out the window for me.

"It is, I won't lie."

"But," he said, "regardless, I'm in. I couldn't think of something better and there's nothing keeping me here... You deserve some peace."

"Adrin. You do, too. We're in this together after all."

"We are," he answered after he rested his forehead against mine.

I cupped his face and felt his warm breath on my face while my nose graced his.

"Where do you want to go when this is over? Back to Italy?" I asked softly.

"No- I don't know... If I want to go back to Italy, I mean."

"Why not?"

"It just doesn't feel like home. I moved here when I was little, so I didn't quite feel italian but yet I also didn't think of the US as my home... I guess I don't really know where I belong."

He should. He deserved to have a home, to be happy.

"I see... And you don't want to refresh your roots or get to know the place you've been born? People need a home, a place or more then one where they feel complete. At peace."

He hummed. "What about you? Where do you want to go?"

"I would like to return to Colombia. Even with all the bad things that happened there... Or maybe this is exactly what bonds me to it. It's in my blood. The good, the bad... I love this place as much as I hate it. It's an inevitabile part of me."

"But?" He asked.

"I fear I'm not able to go back. I would probably be dead the second I step one foot onto the border with the police still searching for me because I killed Gutiérrez... They were loyal to him and with Emilio still walking around they will continue to be. And yet I dream of taking Erlina with me to Colombia to show her my home."