Thoughts I Had Today

Nights like this

Lately I have been yearning for a companion to have during lonely nights such as this one. Just somebody to keep me company.

I have had many sleepless nights, but recently it has become unbearable and I can't pin point exactly as to why.
I have felt loneliness many times before - as if it's the only friend I have left to talk to when the day ends, why is it suddenly so different now?

I have been beginning to feel anxious and craving the warmth of another being, because lately I feel as if this big bed has gotten colder; the warmth from my blanket and my own body doesn't fill this void anymore, and it's becoming unbearable.

Has loneliness finally started to consume me?

The idea that I am alone and at peace when the world goes to sleep, and I have it all to myself - is suddenly daunting. It does not bring me comfort anymore.

I do not hear anything else except these loud thoughts and my beating heart - filled with worry and anxiety. Why? Why do I feel this way every time?

The sudden urge of wanting to cry but not knowing why... I wished someone was here to hold me. Someone beside me who suffers the same insomnia as I do, so I could spend the rest of the night talking about anything else other than what is bothering me - just to keep the thoughts at bay, even for a short while.

I wish to be embraced, to be hugged dearly - the idea of a loving warmth is what brings me comfort now... but... I wonder why?

Is it really just me realising how lonely I am? Or is it me realising that I wished to be loved?
Loved so much to the point that someone would stay up with me, just to calm me down.

Now that I think about it, I have never had anyone like that. Even now. I do not have anybody next to me, on this bed, to console me. To hug me. To talk to me.

No one but my own, and these bothersome emotions.