Thoughts I Had Today

Somewhere Only We Know

You were right there
Standing so close to me
I didn't notice you at first, but I could recognise that back anywhere

It was at that moment that I realised
The universe gave me another chance
To right my wrong from last time

I was scared
But I swallowed my fear and walked to you
"Hello"
A greeting I never expected to hear from your lips
How I've missed hearing your voice

Since the last time we met
You didn't look at me in disdain
Yet my heart was still unsure of whatever thoughts you had in the moment

I couldn't see right through you,
Like how I'd normally would

That constant we had was slowly disappearing, and it frightens me

"How've you been?"
An unexpected exchange of greetings
An unexpected small talk

Something that I've been dreaming of for the past year of radio silence

"Can we keep in contact?"

From that point on in the conversation - it was blurry
Reading your expression and tone was getting difficult
But apart of me, felt the jab that you were trying to lightly turn me down;
But just couldn't find the right words to do so - given the awkward timing

Yet, I was still hopeful
I repeated words
Sentences
I'm hoping that they'd reach your heart

"I need to give ___ back to you"
"How can I keep in contact with you?"
"Text me whenever, if you still have my number"

I knew
But still hopeful
Foolishly, hopeful.

We exchanged hugs
Something that I never expected to happen either
I hugged you so tight, yet so gently;
While whispering "I missed you"
Repeatedly
"I just missed you"

"I missed you too"
When you said that
With those beautiful brown eyes of yours
I could feel the sincerity in them,
Yet also a saddening acceptance; as if you were saying goodbye

"Take care of yourself, okay?"
Why did you say it like that?
Why did you say it as if you were never coming back?
As if we're never going to see each other again?

We're you really saying goodbye?

A day passed by
And I reached out again;
Despite knowing that you don't have my contact anymore
Hoping that you'd still see it;
Expressing how I felt in that moment.
Hoping that my feelings would reach you
But my own voice echoed back to me

So I wait, yet again, for you.

This can't be the end of everything... right?