Thoughts I Had Today

Unhappiness magnet

April, 27, 2022 | 5:48am

I realised something recently.
Every time I try not to hurt
People I care about,
I do the exact opposite.

Whenever I'm in a really bad place,
I tend to distance myself
So they don't have to worry.

It's hard putting it into words,
So I just disappear
With no explanation.

And they get hurt because of that.

I keep making everyone unhappy,
Even when I try not to.
I keep letting them down.

I'm not good at anything else,
Other than to apologise.

I'm sorry for worrying you.
I'm sorry for hurting you so much.
I didn't mean to.
I was trying to protect you,
But that backfired.

I just didn't want you
seeing me like this.
I didn't want to reach out
When I'm like this.

I wanted to get a bit better,
So the next time I see you
I actually have a reason to smile.

But I forget that it's hard.

It's hard to keep looking
For reasons to be happy,
When you think that
You don't deserve it.