Thoughts I Had Today

Why?

April, 24, 2022 | 4:37am

I feel like I'm losing it,
Like I'm going insane.

I just don't know anymore,
I don't know what to do
Or what to feel.

I'm confused.

Having to wake up everyday,
Living and breathing.
It annoys me.
Having to live another day
Is getting harder.

There's a strong feeling inside,
That doesn't want to
Wake up the next time
I go back to sleep.

What is this?
What's wrong with me?

I have so many questions unanswered.
Questions that I ask myself,
every night.

But everywhere I look,
I can't find the answer.

Why do I feel this way?
And why have I been feeling this way for a long time?
Why do I smile when I know I'm not happy?
Why do I laugh when I shouldn't be?

Why?

The only question
that I have the answer to is,
'do I want to be here?'
And the answer to that is,
No.