Save My Sparkle (Completed)

3. Results

"Looking at the scan results over the last time was perfect didn't show anything. However, this time around there are some things the scan shown that could be questionable." Dr. Moore explains.

"Questionable how?" I ask not wanting to beat around the bush.

"There seems to be some places that could show growth from the same cancer you had as a young child. The CT scan could be wrong it is common for it to be off too, which is why I would like to do additional blood work and even schedule a MRI."

"I have not a single symptom though." I can't help but question as my mind isnt wrapping around it.

If one thing I remember clearly is how I felt as a child when I was diagnosed and all the symptoms. Nothing has changed on how I have felt.

"Right now there is no positive that the cancer is back but we do need to do this additional testings."

My mind goes through everything and it sets in that this may be a chance. It could really happen even though it was said there would be a very low chance of this cancer coming back. After all these years I didn't ever think it would really happen.

It is one thing to know it is possible but now something different that it could be true.

"We can get all this done today, Nicolas." Dr. Moore gets my attention.

I nod. "Sure. I do need to ask that this does not get to my mother."

Dr. Moore brings up his computer again and reads over something. "That won't be an issue, she isn't on any of your documents that we can tell her anything and as a respected doctor in this hosptial she isn't on your case like twenty-one years prior so she will not be alerted to anything unless you tell her otherwise."

"I just don't want my family to know anything not until there is a final diagnosis."

"Nicolas, if this all shows your cancer is back then you will need your family to help you through the process once again."

I shake my head. "No, I won't be telling them yet. I won't do that to my family not with the holidays right here at us and my baby sister is expecting her first child."

Dr. Moore sighs and stands from the chair. We go over the test and I sign the papers, before I get sent to the radiology department. The extra scan is done and then I am sent to lab which doesn't take long either. I finally make my way but up to Dr. Moore's office.

After sitting in the waiting room for a little bit I am once again in the back room. The nurse leaves and I lose track of time that passes until Dr. Moore comes in. Only this time there is a woman with him.

A very nice looking, professional lady. Her hair hangs straight as she is in a professional womens suite with a binder of some sort.

"Nicolas this is Natalie Ambrose. She is a Counselor here at the hospital." Dr. Moore introduces us, I shake her hand and then sit once more in the chair.

"Is there any reason why you brought a therapist in Dr. Moore?" I ask bluntly having guessing the results.

"Nicolas, the blood work and scan are back but the in depth scan didn't show anything. Now there is an issue when looking at the labs I had ordered extra."

"Issues?" I ask.

"Your blood count is not stable. There are things we can do first to raise your blood count up on your platelets. We have time to try diet changes and possibly even blood transfusions, but we do not need a transfusion just now. So diet changes are the best route to try first."

I nod. "Okay. Give me a list of things to eat and I will do it all. It still doesn't explain Ms. Ambrose."

"After our talk earlier I had a feeling you are still reluctant to tell your family." Dr. Moore begins then looks at me.

"You are correct. They don't need this yet and with it being unclear I don't see a point in bothering them or scaring them."

"Ms. Ambrose will be your Counselor through the process and probably even once you inform your family of the possibility of your cancer returning. Nicolas, this could become a very fast or very slow process there is no telling which way the results will come out."

"Which I can handle." I reply once Dr. Moore stops speaking.

"It is always best to have someone to speak with and not go through something this big on your own. Cancer is life changing." Ms. Ambrose finally adds in.

"Are you sure the results just could be wrong?" I can't help but ask.

Dr. Moore shakes his head. "It is unclear but I believe it is always best to be prepared. Right now there is no telling but we can do labs again within a short time and they may be different since blood levels can change frequently."

I nod and stand from my chair. "Thank you doctor. Just let me know the diet changes to make and when to come back in to see you."

Ms. Ambrose pulls out a paper from her binder and hands it to me. "I have already got the paper from the nurse for you. This is also my work number don't hestiate to call me if you need to talk. There will be scheduled phone call visits for us to talk."

I nod my head and thank her, even if I don't get the point in all of this completely either. Dr. Moore goes over signs and symptoms to watch for and if any of them should start coming up to come into the clinic not to even bother calling to inform a nurse.

Once in my car, I sit behind the wheel and see the clouds in the sky as they hold their snow within them.

This can't be happening not now. Not after all this years. I thought it would be something I would have to to face in twenty or thirty years from now, not this soon.

I drive home and park the car just as my phone rings and it shows Dad.

'Hello?'

'Hey Buddy. How was the appointment?' Dad's voice filters through.

'Uh, it went.' I scratch my head and just hope he doesn't ask further so I don't lie to him.

It kills me to lie and it is something I refuse to do but this is not news I am not ready to share with them. I can't share this yet. Everyone needs to focus on the happy holidays and Eve, I don't want to steal her moments and I won't.

Dad and I don't talk to long and I make my way into my house. I sit on the couch with the papers gave to me and sigh placing them on the table to lean back on the couch.

My wish already this year is that this is some huge dream and I will wake up to think it is just some nightmare.

With a shake of my head and rub my hands down my face, I get up and go heat up some leftovers for dinner. After I have ate and cleaned my dishes, I walk to my office and sit at my desk. Best thing to do is let my mind free by doing the thing I love doing the most.