Save My Sparkle (Completed)

56. Here Goes Nothing

Today is the day. It has finally arrived. Back to the hospital we go as Nicolas must be observed for a full twenty-four hours before his transplant.

So here is it two in the morning, I am packing the hospital bag for the both of us because I don't plan to leave him if I don't have to. My plan is to stay with him other then when I do plan to visit Jack and see how he has done from the donation process. He goes in this evening to have stem cells and such removed once more. Then the doctors and lab will be getting it prepped for Nicolas' transplant part first thing tomorrow morning. So I will not be leaving the hospital for a little while because I have to be careful not to risk bringing any sickness around Nicolas.

The only time I plan to leave apart for visiting Jack is for my prenatal appointment later on this week. I am close to the end of my pregnancy and couldn't be happier there is roughly only a month left before little Chrisopher is here.

The weather has already turned to a fall type but more on the cold side already as we have entered into the middle part of October. Kind of ironic that his first transplant was close to this date as well.

Dr. Moore has been very happy with the progress and his scans have been looking better and better as the cancer has really went down from just the chemo treatments alone. Nicolas is glad to have ended them and now just this step as Dr. Moore is positive he won't need any further chemo after the transplant as he thinks this will knock the rest out and Nicolas goes back into remission. All the wishes we have been wanting for Christmas this year.

Nicolas at one point the last few months had a moment of depression. We worked through it together and I never once pushed him but just listened to him and helped where I could. The treatment was not helping as fast as he had hoped but after we got better news and this was set up last month he has been back on the happy path. Also the fact he realized he has been through all this chemo and been lucky enough to not loose all his hair, there is just some mild thinning at the bottom back but he is fine with it since he kept that part very short anyhow.

"Need any help?" Nicolas asks gently walking into the bedroom.

"No I got this." I turn to smile at him.

"Actually, could you make sure that the go bag is ready in Chrisopher's room. I just want to make sure that is ready for if anyone needs to grab it for me."

"You got it." Nicolas kisses my temple and then I hear his footsteps leave our bedroom.

We had recently got the nursery all prepared. When my nesting kicked in boy did it just spring out of no where. Chrisopher's room is decorated in little writers theme with a small fox. I couldn't help it but wanted to do something closely related to what I know and of course there is a small book shelf in his room with all his Dads works.

"It is all ready Angel, just as it was last night." Nicolas chuckles from behind me.

I zip up the hospital bag now and then look to Toodles. I pat the bed and he jumps up to where I can kiss the top of his head. This is the hardest part to staying in the hospital with Nicolas is leaving our fur baby once more but I know Chrissy and my parents will take such great care of him. Chrissy loves sending me pictures so I know I will see my fur baby and maybe if we are lucky we will get to come home to be with him once more before Chrisopher is born but that just depends how Nicolas does.

We know there is a minimum stay at the hospital a couple weeks but if he is doing well after two weeks Dr. Moore will release him to come home and just watch things. Just hard this time of year people are already starting to get sick. Although, I am no longer working and won't be going back until our little boy is born and the maternity leave time is over with.

"Are you ready?" I ask him as he takes the bag off the bed.

Some of his strength has been coming back. Nicolas has been doing so much better since not having to stay in the hospital. Although we have all been telling him to watch since he will work out slightly here at home he has felt good enough too unless it was treatment days. Or he claims that a great workout is when we are in the bed rolling together but I can't blame him that is the best exercise ever and all these added hormones make me want it more.

"Yes I am Angel." Nicolas smiles and takes my hand.

We get to the front door and Nicolas pets Toodles before telling him how he will have fun with Chrissy once my Dad comes by to get him with the spare key after he is off work.

"Wait did you pack your snacks?" Nicolas looks at me before he locks the door with us outside.

"Yeah I did." I nod with a smirk. Like I would leave behind the fruit rolls ups and salty potato chips, especially not when they have been a must since the second trimester on. Something Nicolas has been making sure we don't run out of at all.

Nicolas drives us to the hospital and I can't help but stare at him. He is the man I love and grow more in love with all the time, as if that could even be possible. I push down the tears that want to spring to my eyes as I think of how strong he has been and to see him like he is now, happy to be in what we hope is the final step to having it back in remission, brings overwhelming joy.

"You know something?" Nicolas spares a quick glance at me while he is parking the car.

"What's that?" I ask him.

"After all of this next hospital trip should be for you having our little boy." He smiles wide.

"I can't wait for it and just hope all of this goes the way everyone is hoping so you can be with me."

"Nothing will stop me Angel. I will be there even if I sit next to you instead of standing, nothing in this world is stopping me from being by your side."

I smile softly and lean over to kiss him tenderly as he has done turned the car off.

"After this my wish is that we get to have a easier year after this, with raising our son." He smiles and I nod.

"It has been a very busy and fast pace ever since we got together."

"The only thing that I would change if I could have is this cancer." He laughs and I agree.

There has been to many scary moments where I was beyond worried. Nothing is harder than seeing the person you love laying in the hosptial bed with no energy and wondering if their body can really beat the cancer or not, all the hard moments that I couldn't ever think on long or talk about with our families because it just hurt and had to stay positive. Once he came home those extreme days were very few to slim, the hardest was when the cancer was first diagnosed with the treatments being more aggressive.

"Here goes nothing." Nicolas sighs and smiles at me as he gets signed in before the nurse comes out and takes us to the back of the cancer floor where he will be staying in a room once more for hopefully only a short time.