Save My Sparkle (Completed)

45. To Fight This

Voices carry around me for the longest before I can finally tell there is light above me. My eyes are closed, that much I can tell and it is just like how I felt so many years back when I could tell lights were on around me and hear everything happening.

Racking through my memories, I was at the photography shop and then it goes blank. All the feelings had been as they had, just a tad bit tired. Nothing different from the way I have been feeling and I truly thought I was just pushing my self a little to much. I should have known but I want my eyes to open and open now.

Nurses talk around me and I can hear as all the results seem to be pouring in. It breaks my heart because I know that all this means one thing. Dr. Moore's voice confirms it all but he does at least speak to me like Mama done, or well he isn't as soft like she always was.

Time is of no essence for me. It is something I want to scream at because this isn't right.

Everything hits me ten times harder as the nurses go into quiet mode but I can hear feet shuffling around my bed. Dr. Moore proceeds to explain all the test results with a sigh he diagnosis my cancer is back. The myeloma is back but the type I have this time is worse or affecting me a bit differently this time, my mind went jumbled hearing the diagnosis.

All I can think about is my Angel. My heart breaks for Natalie and how she will take the news.

Dr. Moore explains how they have gave me blood for a transfusion to start along with medications to try and get some other blood levels under control along with possible dialysis to help my kidneys. Dialysis will happen if a couple medications don't work.

There is very little I know and understand so I will ask Mama about it. Or well, I will once I can or if I even will be able to. Because no matter how positive I will be and fight there is a small part of me that is logical on the worst that could happen and it is something that breaks me.

I don't want to leave. Not when I haven't even got to live a long life with Natalie.

Darkness threatens to take hold again as my thoughts seem to stop but I can picture Natalie.

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Beeping comes back with the sound of soft sniffles.

Trying my absolute hardest, my eyes finally open. The light is so bright it makes my eyes close and the burn slowly leaves before I open them once more.

Soft skin is on my hand as a thumb rubs circles on the side of my hand.

The bed is partly raised up and I can clearly see Natalie sitting next to me with her head down, her hand in mine. Across the room Mama and Dad are on the couch both awake. Dad is holding Mama in his arms but their heads are also casted down.

My throat is dry and scratches when I open my mouth. So I squeeze Natalie's hand making her head jerk up.

Her eyes widen before she stands and hovers over me. The tears in her eyes forming even faster as she collapses on my chest letting her sobs free. My arms wrap around her and I catch sight of Dad and Mama standing up.

"I am so sorry." Natalie gets up and wipes her eyes quickly trying to take a breath, before moving over to the table to fill up a water cup.

She offers the cup and I drink from it greedily.

"There is nothing for you to be sorry for Angel. I'm sorry if anyone has a reason to be apologizing." My voice is still rough but the water helped to where I can at least speak.

"Did you hear it all little man?" Mama's voice is a soft whisper.

I nod and they all get sad looks on their faces. I'm not sure what to really say and hate how it is affecting them but I'm going to fight my hardest once again.

"How long was I out?" I finally speak up.

"Eight days since you passed out and got the diagnosis." Dad answers and when I look at then all I can tell just how tired everyone is.

That makes my mind spin with so many days I was out out. I don't remember having anydays as a child that I didn't at least hear something and then to hear the day I came in then be out hurts moreso.

The dark circles under Natalie's eyes are the worst and I would do anything I could to ease the frown line along with the red puffy eyes.

"Eve has been here as much as she can be as well." Mama comes to the bed more.

I pat the bed on the side across from where Natalie is sitting holding my hand. Mama sits down and Natalie let's my hand go as Mama pulls me in for a hug and I hug her back.

"While you have been asleep, Dr. Moore has gotten most of your blood levels stable which is how you're awake again. They done some medications and your kidney level has improved. As well as a port has been placed to help everything easier for them to have access since it seemed like chemo can be started tomorrow with you being awake and can consent or we would have but we really didn't know how you might feel about the treatments." Mama explains once she pulls back.

"I'll do any treatment they think will be best. With everything I have I promise to fight this once more." I tell them.

Mama and Dad hug me again and then leave the room to get some dinner. Everything feels wrong with it being dinner time and the day it is because even with how run down I feel it seems like it should still be eight days ago not over a week later.

"Come here Angel." I whisper to Natalie as she seen my parents out of the room along with Dad getting her order of food she wants. Which makes me happy they are all helping each other and making sure they all eat.

Natalie climbs in bed with me and I pull her up to where we are face to face.