Save My Sparkle (Completed)

50. Holding Up

"How are you holding up Sugarplum?" Dad's voice comes up from beside me where I have sat with Chrissy talking for a few minutes, while holding Tootles.

How I have missed my fur baby so very much and needed this time today with him.

It is now the beginning of April and Nicolas is still in the hospital. His chemo treatments have been regularly been done as originally distributed. He had a treatment this morning and I was there with him during but now, since he takes afternoon naps needing to rest after treatment and I officially only working two days a week, I come visit my sister and Tootles.

"I'm holding up." I give a small smile to Dad.

Lately, I have been tried and probably just because it's been a solid month since everything has happened. Everything is more than likely catching up to me and I need more sleep. My temperature is checked daily because we can't risk Nicolas getting sick so it's a normal protocol I have to go through to be with my husband and I'll do it without a second thought or care.

"Sleep." Chrissy frowns looking at me.

I nod.

"Not enough." She gets out and I see her frown even more.

"It is a little hard sometimes."

"Those beds are not comfortable. That is one thing I remember well or I should say the couch not bed." Dad sighs and sits on the couch in front of the chair that I am sitting in to be right next to Chrissy.

"Not only that but nurses in and out to check vitals every so often too. Nicolas tends to sleep through that which I am grateful for he needs his rest the most." I sadly smile then look to Tootles as he sleeps in my lap.

"How is he doing?" Dad speaks up.

"Yeah?" Chrissy asks too.

"He has good days and bad days honestly. Dr. Moore said the chemo is helping since the scans are showing improvement but it isn't as fast as he would like to see. The cancer is aggressive like it was when he was a child so they are trying to treat it just as aggressive."

"Does he have more bad days than good?" Dad asks softly.

I rub my temple a little and sigh. "I wouldn't say he has more bad days now. At the beginning there were more bad days and barely eating just wanting to sleep moreso, but now he does stay awake most of the day and is eating at meal times but its rare for him to ask for something outside of meal times. His strength is coming back up slowly on the days he doesn't have any chemo which has been great to see. They have a therapist going in daily to help move his legs and arms, but the last couple of days he is able to get out of bed easier and not tire from just going to the restroom and back, so it is all an improvement."

Dad nods and Chrissy looks deep in thought.

"At least you're able to see improvements." Mom speaks up from the door, having not heard her come back from town.

Mom wasn't here when I got here but Chrissy told me she went shopping to get some groceries they needed. All which seems strange since normally Dad or I done the grocery shopping the last twelvish years or so. Now Dad says she enjoys grocery shopping just as she used to years ago.

"That is true and I am very thankful to see a improvement no matter how much or little it may be. Anything is better than him being comatose and not seeing or hearing his voice."

"I have one question." Mom looks to me as she moves over to squat down in front of me and places a hand on my leg. "Now, I don't want you to get upset but I do need to ask as your mother. Keep in mind I really do like Nicolas and he is the perfect choice."

"Mom." I stop her from rambling.

"Are you happy Natalie? Like actually happy and not just feeling like you think you are and are just staying to be nice. I only ask this because you have such a large heart and you deserve to be happy, so please don't get mad at me."

I smile softly because it is still so strange seeing this side of her and being all motherly after so many years of my life she stopped it all. "I can promise you I am very happy and in love with all my heart."

"Okay, good. I am very happy for you finding your special someone." Mom smiles then starts to get up but stops to kiss my cheek and forehead.

"Me too." Chrissy smiles and I love seeing how the two words phrases are getting easier for her.

She has been having to work more with talking. In the last few months she is able to get out of the house alone with Bubbles and he has truly helped her in so many ways. With her being in town and not having us she must attempt at speaking more and there is a major difference in how she doesn't struggle as hard as she used too. Eve and her will actually talk on the phone now too and not just text, when they are not hanging out of course. Now they don't hang out so much but Chrissy says she understands because we need to be with Nicolas and she has even made the trip all the way to the hosptial by herself with Bubbles to visit Nicolas and I as a surprise.

"Oh, Natalie! You will need to tell me a time to come and visit Nicolas." Mom speaks up again and moves back to the living room since she was putting things away.

"Okay? I mean anytime is fine Mom and you could just text me to see if he is asleep or not before coming if you want too."

"Perfect. I got his birthday gift while out this morning. Hollie had told me a couple weeks ago when she was getting a gift for him too, when we were on the phone."

I nod and smile liking that fact that our mothers get along and so does our fathers.

"That is good currently his grandparents are in and had been in some back and forth." I nod and then it hits me what Mom just said.

His birthday!

How could I let that slip past me? It is coming up and within less than two weeks.

"Here is a bag of things for you also. I wasn't sure how you may be doing with needing anymore hygiene items so I went on and picked it up for you." Mom smiles.

"Thank you." I take it and look inside.

Only to freeze and my mind stops.