thorns and other maladies

2

was it naive of me to think you wanted to care?
that there was something in you
that still sparked with all your promises
and haunted your choices
the way it sparks and haunts mine.
was it really so stupid to believe?
you explain it to me like an adult to a child
like you don't expect me to understand
like i have to wait to get it
and i wonder
how you used to tell me i was so intelligent
if now you speak to me as if i know nothing.
how you used to call me a goddess
if now you look at me as if i am nothing—
but mostly
i wonder how you could possibly not care
like i didn't hold you when you cried
like i didn't kiss my own heart into you
like i didn't give you my entire meadow
and every drop of honey i had in me.
how is it that you can just stop worrying?
you don't even think of me
and i just don't understand
when i still think of you
when i still worry for you
because i still think about and worry for and love
all the people that have walked into my life
even if they picked my flowers
even if they trampled my meadow
i don't just forget them
i don't just stop being human
i don't just stop caring—
was it really so stupid to believe?
was it really so naive?
i suppose so
i suppose so.