thorns and other maladies

30

there is nothing worse than being a teenage girl.
there is nothing worse than having
every possible thing that you could ever like
being ripped apart and smashed to pieces
and labeled as "soooo cringey "
by men on the internet that are three times your age.
there is nothing worse than suddenly realizing
that no straight man in the world is safe.
that every boy really does want something from you
and they never seem to get
why you're so damn upset about it.
there is nothing worse
than taking off the rose-colored glasses
and seeing your parents marriage for what it really is
—your father that you adored
hasn't done the dishes in years
but your mom cooks every night
after her eight hour work day
your father can't even fold one shirt
while your mother single-handedly
holds this family together—
and know that this is what's expected of you.
this is what the world wants for you.
there is nothing worse than trying
desperately
to reject that fate with your whole being
and to be violently beaten back at every turn.
there is nothing worse
than when you hear the same story
from three four five different girls
and no one seems to care.
there is nothing worse
than hearing the same story
from three four five every single woman
and people still telling you you're ridiculous
for expressing any sort of fear of men.
there is nothing worse
than having your body picked apart
at the ripe age of fourteen
and everyone still being shocked
that you developed an eating disorder.
there is absolutely positively nothing worse
than having to be a teenage girl
and wonder
if you were ever just a girl
at all.