thorns and other maladies

63

i told you once
that i'd bleed all of the ichor
right out of my veins
if you asked me to.
and now here i am
splayed across the ground
drained and empty
bled out for you.
and you—
you beautiful boy—
you don't see the problem.
you don't understand what i've just done.
and i don't know how i ended up here
with you and your careless attitude.
how could i love a boy like you?
a beautiful horrible boy like you?
i'd like to say i don't know
but i do.
oh god i do.
it's why i let you sip the ichor
right out of my veins
and drain me dry.
it's why i'd let you
devour me until you're satisfied.
it's why i stay
even though you're eating me alive.
oh how could i love a boy like you?
a beautiful horrible boy like you?
i want to run
my hands through your hair
you want to sink
your teeth in my neck
i crave everything
and take almost nothing
you crave nothing
and yet you take it all
what a pair the two of us are
yin and yang
predators and prey
butcher and cow
you're going to tear me apart
and i am going to let you
like a dog jumping
into the alligator's mouth
you're going to tear me apart
and i will have let you
for i am nothing but complicit
an accomplice to my own murder
this is what you've done to me
oh how could i love a boy like you?
a beautiful horrible boy like you?
i wish i could say i don't know
but i do.