thorns and other maladies

17

before you
i did not know i could have this:
i knew intimacy
i cried for gentle hands
and soft touch
anything that could hold me
(that could
masquerade as love)
and i knew pleasure
—god did i know pleasure
i knew her like i knew myself
i could trace the map to find her
with my eyes closed—
but never did i think
that it could ever be so
carnal. primal.
that a desire could ever be so
ravenous. insatiable.
you've awoken something inside me
some monstrously erotic thing
that screams for you—
and i wonder
if maybe i'd had it wrong
that this is what it is like
to truly crave someone
to actually desire them
god it must be.
there is no other explanation
no other reason
for my mouth to water
at the sight of you.
you've awoken something inside me
some monstrously erotic thing
and for the first time
i yield to my passions
i allow myself to be the sinner
to kiss the fruit off Eve's lips
to indulge the hunger
and god. god.
i have never felt so free