thorns and other maladies

8

i did everything for you.
i taught you how to be
how to hold a girl like a breath
how to rework a melody into a song of its own
how to fight with someone like you actually mean it
how to stop bottling everything inside you
like it isn't going to just explode later
how to kiss someone like a love poem
how to love and to love hard
even if it takes everything in you to do so
i taught you how to be loved
i loved you through every awful thing
that was done to you
and that you did too
i gave you everything you needed
to be the better person i knew you could be
and then you left me.
discarded me like a used thing
like you didn't need me anymore.
i didn't even know you needed me in the first place.
now you get to be better
all mature and enlightened and pretentious
but what about me?
what do i get
other than my own shattered remains
and the loneliness you left me with.
you taught me love was possible
and then you ripped it away so violently
that you left a bleeding wound
and dead butterflies in my stomach.
was that really all i was—
a step in your progress
a lesson learned?
i did everything for you.
i taught you how to be.
and i guess you figured
you could be
without me.

—manic pixie dream girl