how stupid is it
that i'm still willing to sip the blood
right out of your veins
that here i am
heels scarred from
walking on your eggshells
kneeling before you
blood dripping from my mouth
unable to look you in the eye—
how pathetic
that i promised myself
to never again bow to you
and here i am
prostrating myself at your feet—
i guess some habits
just can't be kicked
some things
just can't be unlearned
some tricks
you just can't train out of the dog
i guess lessons
that are beat into your spine
become part of you in the end
no matter how desperate you are
to forget it all
your body retains the memory
it's embedded in every muscle
carved into all your bones—
i'll never escape it, will i?
you'll always be there
sitting in the back of my mind
pushing my buttons
pulling the reigns
you'll always be there
dripping your blood into my mouth
and laughing as i choke on it
smiling at how stupid i look
kneeled before you
bowing at your feet
weak to your commands—
how stupid
how pathetic
YOU ARE READING
thorns and other maladies
Poetryanother collection of poems. *TW: mentions of sexual assault, drug use, self harm and other sensitive topics*
