Saved from the Dark (Galvez series #4)

27

"Nurse Isha, kailangan po kayo sa room 107."

Narinig ko ang tawag at dali-dali akong lumabas ng station. Doon, naghihintay si Doc. Ciara, ang General Physician na in charge sa amin. Mag-iisang buwan na rin simula nang mag-start ako dito sa Celine's Medical.

"She doesn't want to drink her medicine," sabi ni Doctora Ciara habang tinuturo ang pasyente.

Napatingin ako sa babaeng nakaupo sa kama, nakatalikod sa amin. Nakaharap siya sa bintana, tila malalim ang iniisip. The girl who has Cervical Cancer.

"Ako na po ang bahala," sabi ko, at nginitian sila. Tumango sila at iniwan ako kasama ang pasyente.

Sa tantiya ko, kaedad ko lang siya o baka mas bata nang bahagya. Mahaba ang kanyang brown na buhok, at napakaputla ng kanyang balat—halatang-halata ang hirap sa mga mata niya. She looks hopeless.

"Why do you think people need to survive in this world?" tanong ko, umupo ako sa tabi niya. She was stunned by my question.

"Because we don't have any choice but to survive. Pero ano'ng halaga kung makaka-survive ka kung wala namang dahilan para magpatuloy? Worthless," sagot niya, diretsahan at puno ng pait.

Tumango ako, kinikilala ang bigat ng kanyang mga salita. "We all have so many reasons to keep going," sagot ko nang mahina, "ang hirap lang kasi sa atin, pilit natin 'yong hinahanap sa iba."

"You know how love works?" tanong niya, still looking at the night sky. "Alam ko na isasagot mo; love is when you love a person, right? Fuck! Fuck love! Fuck all of them!"

"I understand," sabi ko nang dahan-dahan.

"Love is the reason why I don't want to be here anymore," aniya, nanginginig ang boses. "I don't want to live anymore. My boyfriend cheated on me with my sister. And all of my family? They're siding with her. Sino ba naman ako para panigan nila? I'm just the worthless daughter who did nothing but bring them shame. They live happily ever after while me? I'm stuck here, in this fucking hospital... suffering! Satingin mo, bakit kailangan ko pang mabuhay?"

I nodded. That's too much...

"Love is really unpredictable," I said and smiled sadly. "You've been through so much, and I'm so sorry for that." Marahan kong inilagay ang kamay ko sa kanyang kamay, na nakakuyom sa galit. "Your feelings are valid, Eya. Hindi kita masisisi kung bakit mo gustong sumuko." My voice is shaking.

"Fuck all of them," I said. "Fuck all of them for hurting us. Fuck them for making our lives worse. Fuck them... fuck all of them!"

Napatingin siya sa akin.

"But how can you fuck them all kung nandito ka, pinapatay ang sarili mo?" tanong ko. "Seeing you suffer is their victory, Eya. Ang saya-saya nila habang ikaw... ikaw nandito, bumibigay. Don't let their evil voice define your reality; you're capable of so much more."

I put my arm around her and let her rest her head on my shoulder. I heard her faint sobs, each one carrying the weight of the pain she had been holding in for so long.

"The hardest part of living is finding a reason to keep going," I told her and held her hands. "Kung sa tingin mo wala nang tao na nandyan para maging motivation mo, edi gawin mong motivation ang sarili mo. You and yourself are enough. Show them what a strong, independent woman can do. Prove them wrong, Eya. Prove to yourself that you are more than what they think of you. Rise above their doubts and show the world the strength they underestimated."

Because I understood her; I could feel her pain. I was raised in a household where the only person who can save you from the dark is yourself.