Weather the Storm (LOTUS SERIES 1)

CHAPTER 36

Pagpasok ng April, hindi na ako pumunta pa sa school. Busy sa graduation ang campus at tapos ko na rin naman ang mga final outputs ko. Sa organisation ang schedule ko bukas para sa birthday ko. 

Halos dalawang linggo na rin mula nang pumunta rito si Evander. Nagte-text siya sa akin minsan. Random lang. Hindi ko nire-replyan kahit pa gusto ko. Minsan tinititigan ko na lang ang number niya nang hindi ko alam. I miss him, too. So much. 

Huminto ako sa panonood nang tumunog ang bell hudyat na may tao sa labas. Napatitig ako sa kaniya ng ilang minuto. It's Brian. The date today, shouldn't he be at school? Their graduation is the day after tomorrow. After Evander's graduation. And I don't want to see him. After the incident in their house, he rarely meets up with me. And it was one of my best days. Hindi niya na rin ako sinasaktan which is even more amazing. But I still don't want to see him. 

Malalim akong bumuntonghininga bago binuksan ang pinto. Nakatitig lang siya sa akin na para bang may kung ano sa mga mata ko. Nangunot ang noo ko sa kaniya. 

"What?"

He blinks and shakes his head before he goes in uninvited. I close the door and follow him inside.

"Are you busy?" Tanong niya. 

Naupo siya sa sofa. Naupo ako sa dulo para may distansya kami. 

"May ginagawa ako." 

"You're just watching." 

Tiningnan ko ang TV na tinuro niya. The movie is paused. 

"Nagpi-play lang 'yan. Bakit?" 

"Let's eat outside." I don't answer right away. I just look at him with the obvious question of 'why would I' on my face. "I just want to treat you to something nice." 

And it's supposed to be a kind gesture, but why do I feel something bad about it? Like, I shouldn't. Even if he sounds gentle right now. 

"What's the occasion? Malapit na ang graduation mo." 

"Why? Do you want to celebrate by then? Are you going with me?" 

I gulp, but I'm not nervous, before I look away. "Hindi ko alam. May pupuntahan ako." 

Wala akong narinig na sagot mula sa kaniya. I look at him from the corner of my eyes. He's staring at the TV screen. His face. It looks sad, so I suddenly wonder if there's someone to attend his graduation. 

"Ang Mama mo?" Tanong ko. Imbis na sumagot, tumingin siya sa kabilang banda. 

Ah, I get it. I saw his mother at the campus last week. I thought they talked about graduation as a whole, looks like everything is complicated on his side. I suddenly felt pity for him. I used to look up to him a lot. He used to be second to Kuya Gio in the list of people I admire the most and seeing him like this, knowing how messed up he is, I can't help but feel disappointed. 

Disappointed because he isn't supposed to look this pathetic. I can't believe I looked up to someone like this. 

"I'm free in the evening," I say out of pity. He looks at me with hopeful eyes. "Seven until nine." 

"That's fine! I'll, uh, arrange everything, you just have to show up." 

I stare at him for a couple of minutes, wondering how we got here. How he turns out to be that kind of person. And how disappointed I am to have myself in this situation. 

Letting him blackmail me. Physically abusing me. And agreeing to have dinner with him after his graduation. I'm supposed to take all the chances I have to be as far away as I can from him. I wanted him to leave me already because clearly, he won't let me do that myself.