Still falling for you

24'~'

Moon

"Where you hungry?"
"What?- no" Jungkook replied with a laugh.

"Okay, how about peanut?" Jungkook suggested
"Are you hungry now?"

Jungkook couldn't help but laugh again, "it's not that bad" he said, "yes it is" Namjoon replied as he  walked to the fridge, he was not a big fan of Jungkook's  idea of baby nick manes.

"okay, what about mini"
"no"
"Mimi?"
"no"

"Are you even trying" Joon asked as he took a seat.

"okay  I got it, Moon"
"Hmm, that doesn't sound too bad, Moon, it's fitting for either gender" Joon said.

"Okay, my little moon baby" Jungkook said sounding very proud of himself.
~'~'~

Time went by and not once did Namjoon regret adopting Jungkook, he would do it all over again if he had to.

But that didn't mean everything was smooth sailing, if anything it was the exact opposite. He sat in the doctor's office while waiting for Jungkook.

"He is going to be fine" Jin said assuringly, but it appeared as though his words didn't reach Namjoon who was sitting with his head hanging low.

"I don't know how to help him" he seemed to mumble mindlessly.

This wasn't their fist hospital visit and he knew it wasn't going to be the last. Jungkook was often unwell and Namjoon felt helpless.

It wasn't that Jungkook locked him out and didn't speak, he did. But that didn't seem to help the younger as he had hoped.

The pregnancy itself was a stressful experience for Jungkook and now more than ever, the guilt of not having told Taehyung the truth was eating him up.

He tried not to think about it, but he didn't succeed, in turn all the stress that was building up was having a bad effect on his body.

He couldn't sleep well at night and due to that, he often buried himself in his books and anything else that would keep him from being alone with his thoughts.

"Hey, you are doing great, don't beat yourself up about it-" Jin said "he is going to be fine, I know it's hard to believe right now, but he will be and I promise to take good care of  him okay? He has the best dad in the world, he will be just fine"

Jungkook had overheard that part of their conversation as he stood outside the door. He wanted to be fine, he needed to be fine. 

He hated having to wake Namjoon up when he was suddenly throwing up or when he would get sudden nose bleeds, he hated it. He hated how weak his body was, how it couldn't create a good home for Moon, he hated himself.

"Why am I always getting sick?" he had asked his doctor during one of his visits. Jin explained to him that, it wasn't his fault and his body was simply adjusting to the changes it was going through, although it was a painful process, he will be fine.

It wasn't a lie, but there was more to it but Jin couldn't only find out after a few weeks and after running some tests.

Jungkook lightly knocked on the door and entered after Jin asked him to. "Are you ready to go?" Namjoon asked, " yep" Jungkook replied with a smile. After they said their goodbyes, the two left.
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Namjoon watched as Jungkook walked around the shop picking out a couple of pillows that Jin recommended, he had been experiencing some back pain recently.

In the end, he picked three and they left the store after Namjoon paid for everything.

After driving for a while, and exchanging a few words here and there, they arrived home.

"Thank you" Jungkook said, once the car stopped. "You are welcome buddy" Namjoon replied with a smile.

"I will get better- I promise I will and you won't have to worry about me anymore- " Jungkook added with a shaky breath " I just- I just need a little bit of time and I will be fine, I promise-.

 What if Namjoon was getting tired? He didn't sign up for this, even though he said he was already looking to adopt, it was definitely not to be in situation like this from the start.

What if he was getting fed up, with the hospital visits, the sleepless nights, having to leave work early, what if he was regretting it.

The man has been nothing but a ray of sunshine in his life, a beacon of hope and all that he gave him in return was; stress and worries.

Namjoon didn't say anything at first as he hugged Jungkook who had started crying. He said a few assuring words until he stopped crying.

"I am not going anywhere okay-" Namjoon said, "I am never going to leave you. You don't need to try to do anything on your own, I will always be here, I promise" 

Jungkook's lower lip was quivering as he looked at Namjoon with eyes full of tears.

"Dad am scared, what if I loose Moon? what am I going to do?" he asked as his tears begun to fall, "I don't want to dad, I don't to loose my baby" 

Namjoon felt as if his heart was being ripped out of his chest seeing the younger breakdown in front of him.

"Hey what are you talking about-" he said pulling him closer for a hug. "Moon is going to be alright, you are a going to be alright okay, Dr. Kim is going to take good care of you alright, and everything will be fine" he said placing a kiss on his head.

It was a bitter sweet moment for Namjoon, after months of living together, it was the first time Jungkook called him dad. He was happy, but he was also hurting, both of them were. But at least they had each other.
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Baby Journal entry

xx/xx/xx

Baby Moon 

Hi my love, how are you doing in there?

I can't wait to see you, dad and Dr. Kim are also waiting for you. Please stay healthy in there okay. You love sweets so much that I asked dad to pick up a cake on his way from work today.

So today I am going to tell you some new things  about your dad.

I already told you how he looks, please get your looks from him, haha.

Well, your dad is the coolest person ever. I know you haven't heard his voice yet, but you will one day, he just had to go somewhere for now.

He is a really cool guy you know, he was always nice everyone when we were in high school. And is also super smart. 

Uhm- he loves the winter and he hates coffee, because it's too bitter for him, so often drinks hot chocolate or tea.

He has such a beautiful voice but he doesn't like singing, its such a shame isn't it? But am sure he will do it for you.

O!!!

You just kicked, I guess you love hearing about him don't you?

I am sorry that he is not here right now, I am really sorry. I promise to make it to you okay, I will buy you all the sweets in the world, haha.

I love you Moon, I can't wait to meet you.

xoxox