Still falling for you

25'~'

Baby Moon

"So-" Namjoon said as he sat down on the floor in front of Jungkook's bed where the younger was laying down.

"I was thinking, I mean we were thinking, Dr. Kim and I, that we should find out what Moon's gender is".

Jungkook seemed to think for a minute, "you like him don't you?" he asked, "What?" Namjoon replied. "I mean, Dr. Kim, you like him" Jungkook repeated.

"What gave you that idea?" Namjoon asked as he leaned back with his arms extended behind him. "I mean, you aren't being very subtle about it you know" Jungkook said as he struggled to turn to his side.

Namjoon scoffed at this, "Hey, stop changing the subject" he said, sitting up straight. "What do you think?" he asked. Jungkook laughed a little, "let's do it" the younger said with a smile.

Jungkook had been dying to know, but he had told himself he would wait, he wanted it to be a surprise. Namjoon supported the idea, he didn't really mind.

But when Namjoon brought up the topic with the Jungkook's doctor, Jin was not fully on board. "I think he should at least know" Jin had said. He had explained to Jungkook that even though he was still feeling unwell, he will be fine, it was just a matter of time.

He didn't tell him much other than reassure him that he will be alright and that he was in good hands. He knew that if he did, it would only  get him more stressed than he already was.

So instead he told Namjoon

Namjoon could still remember the day very well when Jin told him.

"He has a tumor" Jin said pointing to one of Jungkook's scans, "wh-what do you mean he has a tumor, he has been fine all this while" Namjoon replied, still not believing the doctor's words.

It started about three months ago, Jungkook seemed to be getting a lot worse than he was at the beginning. Jin would always run tests on him to find out what was wrong but nothing came up.

He figured it might be something psychological, but Namjoon explained to him that the two had a close relationship and he always voiced his concerns.

But within the past couple of weeks when Jin didn't do any intensive tests, something had grown. 

"It appeared to have been dormant since he was in his early teens" Jin explained. Namjoon was still in shock to hear all of this.

"But the positive thing is that, it's not cancerous"

Jin continued to explain to Namjoon what this meant for Jungkook and the baby. The tumor was impairing the growth of the baby and also weakening Jungkook's body.

"I promise you, my team and I will make sure that both of them will make it, but as a doctor I have to be honest with you that this is very risky; for both of them"

"We can't operate now and remove it because it's too late, and I didn't tell him any of this because I know he struggling with a lot as it is"

Namjoon listened to every word, feeling fear and pain build up inside him. He couldn't tell Jungkook, not now.

Jin agreed to alter the ultra sound pictures whenever they had to show them to Jungkook. Part of him felt that it was wrong, but another part felt that this was the only way he knew how to protect him.

He will tell him when he has Moon, when everything is all settled, he will tell him then. 

But for now he was going to take Jin's advice and find out the gender . It would at least be something that would lift his spirits, consideration how he currently was.

Back in Jungkook's room, Namjoon stayed with him until the boy fell asleep and after that he went to call Jin to let him know they where doing the gender reveal.

"I dyed my hair" Jin said
"Really? what if he said no?" Namjoon asked
"I knew he wouldn't" Jin replied.

The two  chatted for a bit, Namjoon kept thanking Jin for always making time to come over when they needed him. On so many days, Namjoon found himself lost and clueless and will spend time on the phone with Jin who would instruct him on what to do.

"I don't know what I would have done without you you know?" Namjoon said pushing his hair back as he spoke.
"Well; I hope you have me on speed dial" Jin joked.

"I do" Namjoon replied.
"What?"
"I do, I have you on speed dial, you are always the first person I think off"

Jin was lost of words for a moment, but he quickly reminded himself that he was Jungkook's doctor, of course his dad would call him, why else would he.

Namjoon was getting a bit anxious when he didn't get a reply, did he go to far with his answer. "And I will always be ready to help" Jin finally replied.

The two continued to chat until Jin had to get to work and Namjoon went to double check if they still had the massage oils that Jin recommended. When Jungkook wakes up, he will have to give his some back massage.

Baby journal entry

xx/xx/xx

Hi my baby.

I am sorry, it must be hard for you right? I am sorry I am sick and I can't give you a good home. I am sorry. I promise I will stay strong for you okay, I will keep holding on till you arrive. 

I just really wish you I could give you the perfect home right now, because you deserve the very best of everything.

Just hang in there for a little while okay, we only got about a month to go. And you will meet your grandpa and Dr. Kim.

And also, some good news;  over the weekend, we are going to do a gender reveal party. I wonder if you are a prince or a princess.

Your dad used to say that he doesn't care, he will love you anyways. And I love you too, we can go shopping for fire trucks or Barbie dolls any day.

I love you Moon.

Jungkook placed the baby journal on his table, he let out a shaky breath. It was as if a blanket of guilt engulfed him.

Was he being punished? Dr. Kim said he was going to be okay, but he could feel himself grow weaker by the day. He was throwing up at least twice a day and the headaches, the painful headaches that kept him up at night didn't stop.

"Please, just let me stay, for Moon, just until then, please-" he prayed with tears  falling from his eyes. The deities would hear him right, "I don't care what happens to me, but please protect my baby, please-"

His whole body ached, his heart hurt and he wished Taehyung was with him. Not a day went by that he didn't think of him, long for him and miss him.

That night, he dreamt of him, how he looked when he first saw him smile, when he fell in love with him.

💌