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"You fall between my hands like grains of sand as I watch with futile eyes

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"You fall between my hands like grains of sand as I watch with futile eyes."


Scarsdale, New York
January, 2025







A SIGH LEFT HER LIPS as whitened eyes darted across her whitened lawn. Snow pitter pattered against the window, frost forming around the edges with a silent threat of invading the kitchen. She didn't mind, lifting her mug of cocoa to her lips, taking a long sip. Grass had grown frosty tips, the first blanket of snow glittering like tiny stars floating down from the brumal clouds above.

Lucy didn't particularly like the snow, for obvious reasons.

But there was something so irrevocably cozy in the way she was able to enjoy a cup of hot cocoa with a few floating marshmallows. She was safe in her home as she watched the cold spread across the neighborhood. Their neighbors had started taking down their Christmas decorations, but some remained. Blue, red and green lights blinked from across the street, decorating a young evergreen tree that glowed in the night.

The neighborhood was beautiful during the day, but it was sparkling during the night, a gorgeous sight that warmed something in Lucy's heart. She didn't have enough money to enjoy holidays as a child. She couldn't remember ever setting up a tree when she was living with her grandparents. Her father had always been working, and always slept when he came home.

Lucy drew another long sip of cocoa, her eyes flicking away from the window.

She wondered how her father was doing in the land of the dead. She was curious about where he'd gone– if he had done enough good in his life to make it to the Field of Reeds. She wondered if her mother was with him, if they managed to remain together, even after death. She would let herself wonder about these things, because it was so immensely dangerous for her to seek them– to visit them.

Lucy had a feeling she wouldn't be able to control herself. She had a feeling she would most-likely raise them from the dead and try to keep them alive, even if that was against the rules of the living and the dead– even if it was against the rules, against the balance of life and death.

She sighed to herself.

It was too early to be thinking about such things. She turned away from the kitchen, padding over to the living room. She placed her cup of cocoa on the coffee table, settling herself on the couch facing their flatscreen TV. She grabbed the remote, pointing at the screen–

There was a knock at the door.

Lucy's eyelid twitched, a groan of annoyance escaping her lips.

James had taken the kids to the neighborhood hill, energetically attempting to convince Lucy to follow them. But Lucy had a lot on her mind today, and she declined her husband's offer. She had a rough night of sleep, having another one of those recurring dreams with Henry either dying or looking furious.

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