Deja Vu | Yeonbin

SOOBIN

PLAYLIST⚘
Fuck u, good luck
                     [Suggi]

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I cried. So much defeated. Never felt so weak in my life. Never felt so helpless.
Never felt so perplexed. Just a moment of seconds and the fort was shattered. Never ever thought of sharing a kiss with a man. With someone I barely knew something about. My pride, my self-esteem,my extant everything seemed meaningless.

Suffice it to say,
I was a clown.
Unbeknownst to myself,he ruined me.
I was holding my composure yet too distracted by him to loose my sanity.
It was so impulsive of me to give up Infront such a knee-jerk who was just unsure and kissed me for the sake of his teenage hormones.

Was I a saint too? But at least I knew that I've something for him unlike him who acted like a jerk. Or maybe he's contemplating too?
Or maybe not .
I want to die.
I needed condolences but I couldn't even tell my friends about this stupidity.
They would just make fun of me.
Maybe they'll judge me?
I collapsed on the rigid floor fighting for my lungs.
I never cried this much after my 7th grade .
He didn't ruin my first kiss because yeah I already had that.
But it wasn't with someone I loved.
It wasn't with someone whose existence made me feel weak.
Whose eyes made me feel to get drowned in them .
Who made my heart pound 100X faster.
In my euphoria, I had become convinced that he could defeat me.
Ruin me.
Spoil me .
And I won't regret.
Yes, I don't regret kissing him .

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