Little taste of hell

Fourteen

It has been weeks and things between Nate and I have gotten even weirder. Things since our argument have been off. During training we just beat the crap out of each other. Not holding back at all. Neither one of us really know what to say anymore. Sam has been hitting on me fucking fierce.

The guy honesty just won't give up. I'm not sure if it's fucking pitiful or annoying. Hell maybe even both. I kind of haven't really decided yet. It makes Nate mad as hell though. Which I think is honestly the whole game for Sam. He finds amusement out of it.

April and Miller seem to have a thing for each other though. So that's good. Honestly it is. They both deserve it. The kids both seem to absolutely love it here. Nate has even been teaching them self defense. Which honestly I don't see the point in it. They are both toddlers. They are not gonna hurt a single person. Maybe besides each other.

It was two when Randy called a meeting. As soon as we made our way to the meeting place I sighed.

"Seriously. Another recruit. Doesn't he think we have enough people?"

Lola and Kayla both snickered lightly. I mean they know I'm right. Sure he hasn't been recruiting as much, but still. We have a shit load of people. I think we are good. We definitely beat Maddox by numbers. But Maddox could still kill over half of the people here. Which I'm not sure why he hasn't yet. He's been silent as of late.

I wasn't really paying attention during the meeting. Not Randy's speech he gives. Not the girl's beating or her branding until I heard the words leave Randy's mouth.

"The lucky gentleman that will be initiating the gorgeous Amanda will be Nate."

As soon as I heard the words I looked at the girl and Randy. I could feel the lump in my throat and the tears in my eyes. When Nate walked up on the stage he locked eyes with me. I felt as if I couldn't breathe. Like I almost fucking forgot how to.

I bit down onto my lip and I looked away. I could feel my hands shaking lightly so I put them in my pocket. However I wanted to fucking scream bloody murder and fucking shoot Randy when he said his next words.

"I have a meeting so Winter you can witness the initiation."

Oh he has got to seriously be kidding me? What even happened to the females picking the guys? I think Nate lied about that. Never once have any of them picked.

I swallowed my spit and I nodded my head lightly. Nate was looking at me with so much pain on his face.

Does he feel the way I feel right now. Oh my god. I feel like I'm going to fucking suffocate.

"Block it out Win." Kayla mumbled lowly.
"Pretend she is you." Lola whispered.

The walk to the Cabin was seriously the fastest walk of my entire life. I felt like it took twenty seconds. Every single one of us was silent.

"Once the initiation is complete please come find me in my office you three."

None of us said anything. I just walked over and sat down crossing my legs.

"So how does this work?" The newest recruit Amanda asked.

Common sense you dumb bitch.

"We have sex." Nate mumbled with no emotion.

Nate looked at me and put his jacket down on the table next to me.

"Get undressed." Nate mumbled. The girl was to eager for my liking. She got undressed and Nate followed suite. Undressing himself and adding a condom.

Well at least he's using that.

As soon as Nate got on the bed he looked at me. Trying to see what I was thinking probably. As soon as Amanda lowered herself onto him and cried out I bit my lip and squeezed onto my leg. Trying so god damn hard not to start crying.