Shattered Hearts (Book 2)

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''Justin'' I hear a voice say. I placed my head on the bed next to her, her hand in my hand. I couldn't. I didn't want to. The pain in my chest was unbearable. I felt like I was drowning. The water was filling into my lungs, slowly killing me. Feeling completely and utterly weak. I had lost her. I had her. She was mine. She was my wife. The mother of my child. Or shall I shall children. There's two, how am I supposed to take care of two children all by myself. If one were to be just like her, or even both. I will forever be reminded of losing the person that means the most to me. How were I to go on with life, a widower, a father, never wanting to date or remarry because YN was the one for me. The one that filled my life with joy and happiness. She was everything to me. I wasn't here for her. If only I stayed at our apartment. Stayed there with her, talked with her about kissing Chris, I would've been there when her water broke. Been here the whole time. But no. No. I let my anger get in the way of that. I went out and got drunk. Trying to erase the pain I was filling, the pictures in my head of both of them together. But now. Now this is much worse. I will forever blame myself, no amount of liquor can take away this. No amount of love from my children, from family and friends, will ever erase the pain of losing her. Will it ever get better? Will the pain ever go away? Because right now, it really feels like it's never going to go away. That the pain is going to leave me traumatized, empty. Lost.

''Justin,'' the voice was dry but soft. A hand is placed on the back of my hand, running through my hair. The touch was gentle. The tears pouring down my cheeks, my sobs escaping my mouth. The pain in my chest growing with each second. The hand comes under my face, thumb rubbing against my cheek and lifting my head. My vision was blurry from the tears. I blinked once, all the tears falling out of my eyes. I look up into those beautiful big eyes, pain and relief washing over me.

''YN'' I choke out, she smiles a weak smile at me, her face pale, eyes lighter than usual, her lips were chapped and hair stuck to her forehead. She nodded her head slowly, my hand went to the back of her neck and I pulled her into me, pressing my lips against hers softly.

''I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry baby. I'll never leave your side again. I don't even care that you and Chris kissed anymore, I just. I thought I lost you baby. I thought I lost you.'' I whisper as the tears begin to fall down again.

''Sshh, its okay Justin. I'm here. You didn't lose me, I'm right here,'' she coos, her thumb wiping away the tears falling down. I close my eyes and lean into her hand, feeling her touch. The pain that I once felt, washing over me slowly. I didn't lose her. I have her. And there's no way I'm letting her go again.

//YN//

''Justin, I'm fine, I swear.'' I say, his arm was around my waist as he walked me inside our apartment.