Shattered Hearts (Book 2)

Starting Over Part 8

//Justin\\

"What do you mean she said she couldn't come home yet." I say and Chris just shrugs his shoulders

"That's what she said Jay. She said she can't come home yet." He tells me and I look down sighing deeply.

"Is she ever gonna come home?" I ask quietly and Chris puts his hands on my shoulder and brings me in for a hug. I sigh and let my arms fall to my sides.

I honestly don't know for myself. So why would Chris know? He knows just as much as I do. I know why she ran. I know why she doesn't want to come home and see me. I don't even want to see myself. I live with the guilt everyday. I live with how her face looked when I told her I cheated on her. It haunts me everyday. Every minute, and every second I close my eyes, I see the look on her face. And it hurts. I know she's hurting more. Which is the reason I hurt. For the rest of my life, I will have to live knowing I hurt the one thing I wouldn't have dared to hurt. And yet I did.

''I'm sorry Jay. I know how much you want her back. I understand how you're feeling and I'm sorry I couldn't do more." he tells me lightly and I pull away from him and look at him.

"Where is she?'' I ask him and he sighs and shakes his head looking down.

"Jay. I really don't think its a good idea for me to tell you. Knowing you, you wont just want to know where she is. You will want to go to her. I mean you didn't even listen to me when I told you going to her college wasn't a good idea at the time.'' he says and I step away from him

''But it was a good idea. If I didn't I would've been miserable without her. Trying to live my life and forget that I was madly in love with someone. But look at us now Chris. I'm married to her. I have two wonderful kids with her. Our life is perfect because I didn't listen and came anyways.'' I tell him and she looks up at her and licks his lips

"Perfect? Is this what you call perfect? Wondering where your wife is hiding because you cheated on her? You're right Jay, that sure is perfect." he says harshly and I scoff and roll my eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that.'' he says lightly and runs his hands through his hair.

''I can't stand not knowing where she is. She's my wife Chris. Please. Just please tell me where she is.'' I beg and he looks down

"I can't Jay. She just needs some time. Some time alone. You have to give her that.'' he tells me lightly and I take in a deep breathe and let it go. He turns around and walks out of the room and I go to my bed and sit down.

I rest my elbows on my thighs and run my hands through my hair. I honestly don't know if I can just give her some time to herself. I don't even want time to myself. I just want her by my side again. That's all I will ever need. I don't know if i can leave her be. I need to see her. I do. I just wan't to see her and hold her and kiss her.

I will find out where she is. I have to.

////////////////////////

''Sssh. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep little babies. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep little babies'' I sing softly, patting both of the twins backs. I don't exactly know a lot of lullabies. YN was always the one to sing to them.

But it was working. They were drifting off to sleep. Alex's arm draping over Luke as they both laid on their stomachs. They both rested their heads on their left cheek.They slept the same. They've always be one in the same in everything they do.

Chris has been staying with me because he doesn't want me alone at a time like this. Using the words that he himself has used. I keep insisting that I was fine and he could go home. But sure enough, he chooses its better to stay with me.

I leave the kids room and go down stairs to see Chris passed out on the couch. I go to the kitchen and quietly open the fridge and pull out a beer. I pop it open with my hand and put the cold bottle to my lips and tilt my head and the bottle back. The cold beer going down my throat easily.

I walk to the living room and look down at Chris sleeping. I sigh and wipe my lips, his phone starts vibrating and I see Baby Girl appear on the screen. My breathing stops and he moves around a little and then lays comfortably. I quickly grab his phone to see he got a text from YN.

I debate whether to read it or just leave it alone. But its YN, I can't just leave it alone.

From: Baby Girl

How are the kids doing Chris?

I exhale deeply and lick my lips, softly setting my beer down on the side table to reply.

To: Baby Girl

They're doing great. How bout you?

I reply and bite down on my thumbnail as I see the three little dots blinking.

From: Baby Girl

I honestly don't know Chris. Uhm. How's Justin??

To: Baby Girl

Honestly. He's doing horrible. You should see him. He's not his best without you.

From: Baby Girl

...

To: Baby Girl

Do you miss him?

From: Baby Girl

Of course I do. He's still my husband Chris. You have no idea how much I miss him.

To: Baby Girl

He misses you a lot too.

And with that, she left it on read. Maybe she didn't know how to respond to that. Or she just had no idea what to think about it.

But it was enough for me. I had to find her.

I started looking through Chris' phone to see her was messaging with Cameron. The last message they sent was today. I opened them up and started reading through their messages.

To: Cam

Aye bro. Can I ask a favor?

From: Cam

Yeah dude of course

To: Cam

Have you seen YN? I've been looking everywhere for her. Hope said she didn't know where she was

From: Cam

Lol, that bitch. YN is staying at her house bro. She came the while ago. B4 she was just saying she wanted to come see us. But it ended up coming out so we all know what's going on between her and Justin.

To: Cam

Yeah. It's very complicated about now. But thanks for telling me where she is. I have to talk with her. Just don't tell her I'm coming over.

From: Cam

Lol alright bro. See you soon then.

It ended right then. But I have all the information I need to know where YN is. And nothing is stopping me from going to see her now. Chris is here with the kids. But I can't just know where YN is and not go see her. That's crazy.

I'm going to go see her now.

New year bitches!!! I'm just kidding! I didn't mean it I swear haha

New Chapter for a new year. Now I know its like the 2nd already but give me a break haha I had a bit of writers block haha.

Hope you enjoy this chapter lovelies!!!!