Been Through (SCS #3)

18.

I've never been embarassed in my whole life. I always think what to say to avoid jumping into conclusions. I'm always calm in every situation. I always settle things without concluding. Hindi ako ang klase ng tao na makikipagsabayan kapag may nagsisigawan sa mga kaklase ko. Hindi ako ang klase ng tao na makikisawsaw sa away ng iba.

I'm not that kind of person. Ni minsan, hindi ko hiniling na sana lamunin na lang ako ng lupa o kaya sana mag-evaporate. Hindi ko hiniling na sana maging hotdog na lang ako. Now, I know what they mean by that. Sana naging hotdog na lang ako para at least, hindi ko dinaranas ang kahihiyang ito.

What hotdog would I be? The one with cheese inside? Oh, the jumbo one would be good, right?

Pero, masiyadong common ang hotdog. How about I change it?

Hmm... sana maging tocino na lang ako para iwas kahihiyan. Right! If only fairy godmothers exist, I will immediately wish to her for me to be a tocino. Agad-agad.

Ano kayang itsura ko kapag naging tocino ako?

"Anong iniisip mo, president ko?"

"Ay, tocino!" I exclaimed in shock. Doon ko lang napagtanto na lumipad na naman ang isip ko dala ng kahihiyan.

When I looked at him, I gasped when I noticed how close he is to me. Hindi ko namalayan na nakalapit na siya at nasa harapan ko na. I was already trapped in his arms. My back is on the door of our classroom as he leaned forward with a smirk on his face.

"You're thinking about tocino while here I am... thinking how I miss you so bad?" bulong niya sa tenga ko. Shivers was felt as his breath touched my skin. I cleared my throat and tried pushing him off but, he stepped closer and even leaned his chin in my shoulder.

What the... bakit nage-eskandalo itong lalaking ito? Hindi ba siya aware na nasa harap kami ng classmates namin?

"I missed you, Yara..." bulong niya sa tenga ko bago ang kamay na nakatukod sa pader ay unti-unting bumaba patungo sa bewang ko at natigilan na lang ako nang maramdaman ang pagyakap niya.

I suddenly felt warm with his arms around me. Tila nawalan ako ng pake sa paligid ko at tanging yakap na lang niya ang nararamdaman ko. His calm breathing on my neck makes me relaxed too as I hear it. Tahimik lang ang lahat at parang kaming dalawa lang talaga ang naroon.

So, this is how hugging someone you like feels?

So heartwarming. So comforting.

Someone cleared their throat and that breaks the moment. Napalayo na si Janus pero, nakahawak pa rin siya sa bewang ko.

"Pasensiya na sa inyong dalawa, huh? Alam naming na-miss niyo ang isa't-isa pero... grades muna bago landi, please?" Sixto stated, earning a laughter from our classmates. Napakagat naman ako ng labi sa kahihiyan at dumikit lang kay Janus.

"Basag trip!" Janus playfully aimed to throw his fist at his friend.

Because of the embarassment, I couldn't look at my classmates the whole day. Umakto ako na normal pero, hiyang-hiya pa rin sa ginawa ko kanina. I don't know how to face them after that. Gosh! What happened to the calm and serious, Yara? Bakit parang ibang tao na ako ngayon? Puro kashungahan na ang ginagawa sa buhay.

But hey, despite the embarassment, I'm super happy because I saw Janus again. I missed him. Hindi ko na itatanggi 'yon.

"Lunch?" he approached me when lunch break came. I cleared my throat when the embarassment from earlier flashed in my mind. Kalma, Yara Nezka.

Nilingon ko ang mga kaibigan ni Janus pero, nakita ko silang natutulog sa upuan nila. My gaze shifts back to Janus who's silently watching me.

"'Yong mga kaibigan mo... hindi mo sasabayan?" tanong ko. Janus glanced at his friends before looking back to me.