The MakeUp Artist Internship

Spit, Girl. Spit

     "Spit, girl. Spit. Kinda like when you eat that big girl out,". my roommate Scott says. Yeah. I have guy roommates.  Yes, I am bi, too. "I bet your dad is Brad Pitt.  Nah.  Your eyes are too brown.  You look like Edward Scissorhands when you over pluck." 
Shut up, asshole," I say.   Scott and I are bff's.  We grew up down the street from each other. 
"I say Johnny Depp.   If you didn't eat so much you look like Lily Rose.   Jade Christine, what do you think Rob will say?"
"Don't care.   Adopted me for tax credits. So glad mom dumped in him 2014."
"How is your mom? She has big boobs.  She's hot."
"Busy making up The city's finest. She's dating some weird guy I hate. She says she wants to dump him."
"Funny.  I'd do her."
"She's 50.   What in the hell?  Plus she's my mom." 

          I want to find out who my dad is.   Twenty seven years is too long.  Mom has hinted around, says he wouldn't have wanted me. So, I took a half day from the law firm where I am a receptionist, took a nap, and am now spitting in a tube for Scott's entertainment.   He is a city fireman and this is his day off.   It is a warm, mid November day.  I live in a big house in Westside. Five of us live there. Me, Kim. Jim, Scott and Jordan live there. They are all at work. 

     "I think that is enough.   Now seal and send, Scott reads. 
"Here goes nothing,"  I say.
"Well, you will know who your real dad is.  That should bring you peace.   I know it has been bothering you and crazy Rob was not a good dad, even to Hannah."
"It's not that I hate Rob.   I just want to know.   Mom felt she was saving me by not telling me. Saying I would ruin his 'privacy' and 'He is so famous. He wouldn't care about some makeup artist he had a one night stand with, especially one who got fat and ugly." Rob did that.
"Your mom isn't fat and ugly." 
"Tell that to her. I think this person is truly the love of her life."

        She told me that in the summer of 1993 she did makeup and hair in Hollywood and she got to meet some famous people.   She told me that she never regretted the fling because she had me, but I think she carried and still carries a torch for him and she really didn't love Rob. She just hated living with my grandparents and from what I remember, it sucked.   There are certain movies she watches wistfully and I had a teacher who told my mom i reminded her of a cute little Edward Scissorhands.   I was so shy back then but working for Paul Portnoy and being his receptionist made me come out of my shell.   I just have always been curious because this person has an affect on my mom to this day.  I don't think she wanted to come back home, but her Midwestern parents said the money would be gone. So the old adage, I came to a party with my dad and left with my mom....

"Going to church tonight?" Sadie texted. Sadie was a girl I am seeing, as I am bi. She's a big girl, kind of annoying, kind of smelly but she does eat me out until I am a sobbing mess so I take it. She really curls my toes.  Lisa says she is using me. Lisa is my bestie and they hate each other.
"Yeah."
"Can you pick me up from work? I have been so horny for you, my brown eyed girl."  I agree, even though I don't want to. She uses me sometimes.
"Sure. We can fool around before church."
"And after?"
"Of course."

     Sadie is not the real deal and she gets dick from time to time, but I am not spending my twenties like my mom, saddled with a kid, no help from a dad, marrying the first guy willing to help, and him not being ideal.   I do deserve better. Rob never beat me and my sister or molested us, but his alcoholism ruined ALL our lives.   I am glad my mom got out though. She deserves to be happy.    I don't think she is happy with Jeff Raypole.  I think he is an asshole.   He is a part time deejay and entertainer. He isn't attractive enough for my mom and his personality does not match hers.   My mom is a great person.

    I pick Sadie up at the bookstore.   She looks awful with her black hair, black makeup and black lipstick. She is wearing some low cut number that she shouldn't.   I want to tell her.  She tells me "Hey" and that we need to stop and get her food, get some money, and her scripts at the pharmacy. I tell her "ok". Looks like she isn't going to go down on me like I had wanted. I was waiting for it.  We run all of her errands and have time for her to change. She lives in a shady side of town. I step in a pile of dog shit as soon as we walk in and it's my red Chuck's.  I am pissed. She doesn't even feel bad. I stand and wait. Her couch is greasy and stinks of dog. Orion is a cute pitbull though. She kisses me and says, "when we get back sweetie." Sometimes I have a feeling she uses me because I resemble a bigger Lily Rose Depp. She likes to show me off at techno night.  Some guy took us back to his apartment and we had sex in front of him.  

Our church is a Metaphysical church so it's interesting. I sit in the back with Sadie. She gets out her artist pad and I feel annoyed.  She needs to pay attention to the service.   And she is the mature one?  She is 10 years older than me.   On the platform tonight is a guest.  Erin Hill.   She's from Camp Leland, where all the greats are trained.  Then there is Penny.   I feel she doesn't like me. My messages from her are always shitty.  She even looks at me like, "God.   Anyone but YOU!!!!"   I participate in the service.   I ask Sadie if she paid attention.   "Spirit guides my art," she tells me.    I listen.   I look over at her.   She is oblivious.   

     Her message was the same.  "Trust God's timing," Penny says other. Erin  drew my name and my jaw is left on the floor. "You are going to find out who your biological dad is and it will stun you.  He will be back in your life big time.   Your mother and he have always thought of each other."   I am dumbfounded.   Sadie doesn't even pay attention.  Ii told d her and she said, "Well, your probably mentioned it or something." 

     Maybe I need to break up with Sadie,   Mom thinks so.   She told me, "You are settling for her."  One of the church ladies has a metaphysical bible to give her, so we drove out to Benoit to get it.  I might as well go to my attic bedroom and get off myself, but we get to her place at eleven and she says. "Baby, I am so sorry, but that book was free."  I tell her "No problem."  I kiss her neck and take off her top.   I suck her boobs and play with her belly.   She then puts me on the greasy couch and says, "My little Jade Christine."  She eats me out and I do the same when she's done she gets out my pink dildo and gets me off again.   I do have the best orgasms with her but she is kind of rude and abusive.  

     I get home at midnight, brush my teeth and go to sleep.   The next day was a dry shampoo day for sure, 

      I just want to know who my dad is.