The MakeUp Artist Internship

Back Home Again

      "I love traveling with Johnny," mom said when he was in the bathroom on the plane.  
"He's fun.  I read about your cruise."
"He was texting another fat girl on social media.   I felt worthless and should have stuck to my guns.   He cried, I felt sorry for him, and it was all because I thought this day would never come.  You know, every morning I wake up grateful.  Oh..."
"Am I interrrupting something?"  Johnny asked. 

     They settle into an obscure 1930s movie and I settle in on the cruise from hell. 

      "The only good thing about this cruise was that I got my period the day we were to board,  I am having horrible cramps.   All I can do is lie in my room with a heating pad.   He sort of told me I ''planned' this.   You can't plan with a pituitary gland."   She further said, "I have done it with him and he is quite small.  He doesn't fit in me, comes three minutes after he gets in me, and when he goes down in me it is like I am lunch.   I hate when he fingers me as they are  bien dry and it's like he is digging for treasure.  It makes me miss Johnny.   He asked me why I was 'so loose' and 'dry'. I told him 'birth' and my 'fibroid treatments'. I wanted to tell him I wasn't 'loose' or 'dry'. It wasn't a problem with Everett. I just wasn't turned on."   That did not seem to be a problem with Johnny as they went until about midnight and I think on the plane when I dozed off.  I could hear them,   Mom didn't, "bite down, turn her head to the side, or wish she were somewhere else" with Johnny.   I thought sometimes the world could end, and she would be looking In his eyes,  I walked in in them once and they really are into each other.   She had cramps, was seasick, and had to have sex with Raypole on the cruise,   Then he sexts with another large lady, and mom said, "I knew I should have broken up with him, but I saw me in my bathing suit and no handsome man should ever want me again, but at one time, Johnny thought I was fly.... Plus he cried and said he would never do it again....  'You are right, honey.  I have the prize right here.  It's just your hormones are whack!' He a,says makes it I directly my fault and I get so tired of his blow hard conversations where he would say 'Can you blame me? It is like he never has any faults...."

I see why mom was so miserable and hated herself for a whole.I get up and get a drink of water and am really thankful that she was with Johnny in bed and not married to someone she couldn't stand. At that time, I thought my mom was just being childish and pedantic because she was dating a man she felt was unattractive and saw no way out. I wondered had he asked, had she not pissed him off, she probably still would have been with him. She's dozing on his chest and he is sound asleep. Her jeans are on the floor, so they did the deed while I slept.  I heard some of it.  I get my water and go back to where I was laying. I read the entry where she was back from the trip. "Never in my life have I been so happy to come back to a messy home. Jade kind of left the place of mess, bit I am glad to be in my own bed, Glad no one can touch he. He talked of moving in here, selling his house, and beginning a life with me. I told him that the house was in my husband's name and he flew in a rage. 'I thought you were rid of him! Goddammit, Amy! Why do you live in his fucking house?!' He punched a wall. He scared me. I told him I had a horrible credit card problem and he said 'Well you could move the girls in with me and be rid of it.' I don't think Jade or Hannah would want a house that smelled like old food, man, cat boxes, and pubic hair in the sinks. I am so grossed out by him, but Elyssa would guilt trip me for leaving him,."

Again, my life paralleled my mom's, I am in a relationship with a woman like Jeff. It took my. I'm a whole to get out and it was going to take me. She texted me three times where I was. I lied and told her I was very tired and wanted to go home. She said she couldn't wait for our steak dinner with her tomorrow and to 'rest up'. I lied,. When we got him at four, mom ordered some pizzas and we had dinner at her house. Scott came along. On the way back home he said, "Your mom looks so, so happy. I don't think she looked like that since we were kids in 2003 and we went swimming at my house. I saw you naked, you know?" We laughed.

I wished I could have told him how I really felt. We needed to drop our controlling bitches!

I get home and call her. She asked if she could pick me up and I told her I needed to shower and I kind of smelled bad. She said, "I could bathe you." I told her it was bad. "One day, I will bathe you and take care of you. You are mine." She really kind of scared me.