The MakeUp Artist Internship

Mom's Benefactor

      Mom was just an esthetician from 1994 to 2009.  Fifteen years.   I shouldn't have said "just an", but she was good.   She was very good,  but there was a more for her to achieve.   However, there was never enough money to have my mom go back to school.  Dad was from job to job to job since he went to jail, since his plea bargain, and he basically lost himself. Mom was basically letting him live there.   Mom was just keeping him because she felt she could do no better.   She even wrote, "In the end, at the end of the day, he chooses her.  No one wants a 'prude' whose husband was driven to sleeping with female prisoners because of being 'frigid'.  In every fight we have, this is mentioned.   However, for a day a week, an afternoon, I go see Everett and see how the other side lives.   Oh, I wish I hadn't screwed up with Johnny, but would he want me now.   The other night, we went to the park and I looked like the BIGGEST Mom Blob in the world.   Johnny would think my kids were cute, sign something for them, and thank God he didn't get saddled with me,  he has that beautiful French woman as well.  Why would he want an Indiana Mom Blob?" When I was fifteen, I was angry at my mom, but I thought she was beautiful.

Mom opened up to me about cheating. She had few female friends that she could confide in, Everett PAID for her schooling. "Today Everett dropped a bombshell on me. No, not that who's wife knows, BUT he is going to pay for me to take some classes in Chicago to become a master esthetician!!! Had this not happened I would always be under someone. I told Rob that this was a scholarship. Can't tell him jt's firm a guy I have been fucking. I feel like a whore, but it will help with the bills. It will help for COLLEGE for my two girls. I did tell Jade and she see seemed different so disinterested. She has been so bitchy lately. Wanting to know who her dad is. I am like look into the mirror child. You look like your dad circa 21 Jump Street and I don't mean it in a bad way. You are beautiful. However, at North River, they know she is not moneyed, she lives in a next to dilapidated home. Our house is on the verge of being condemned. We have raccoons in the attic and they laugh and snort all night long. Jade had a friend over, a friend from the popular set, and mouthed it all over school. My heart breaks for her. She's fourteen, going on fifteen. She doesn't deserve this....

I lived at the end of New Mexico Ave. it was a small cape cod. It wasn't maintained, It wasn't the big two story across the esplanade like Scott's house. We were good friends.  He was my best friend.   He still is.   He al ways stuck up for me and still does.   To the girls at East Side, I was "white trash" and was always asked, "Didn't you get that top at The Sal. Only weirdos shop at The Sal!" I got rides with Scott to school, as the bus was too humiliating and he was ALWAYS my friend and when he got a car, he took me to school, even dropping me off two blocks away when's he was sick. It was also never forgotten about the raccoons in the attic at my home. Jenny Petit came to our house for a night. She was popular and cool. Well, we were broke, had nothing to eat, my sister and I shared a room, AND the raccoons in the attic was the talk of the school the next day. I could never really shake this. I still felt like that girl some days, even with who my dad was. 

Mom was really stressed out in the years 2009-2010.   She was going to school, trying to balance her job, our house, and most of all, her marriage, which I was hoping was going to end anyway.   It had gone too far.   Dad was seeing servers at the golf course.  They were both playing the game.  I hated when she left for class Wednesday through Saturday at noon.  Mom had Sunday's off, then back to work ALL DAY 8-6 Monday and Tuesday.   I watched Hannah and made sure she was okay.   She didn't like me very well.   I turned sixteen the summer of 2010, and Hannah didn't understand why we didn't have a car.   However, Scott always pulled through.   Scott would drive me to take Hannah to a friend's house if it wasn't in walking distance.   Scott even said he'd take me to prom if I didn't find a date.   I never went anyway.   I wasn't into that scene.  Lauren was.  Lauren went to Lathrop though, a popular cheerleader.   She and Scott met in college.  

I had to tell him.   I didn't want him to get married to  that princess.  

I go back and read about Hannah getting her period and me calling mom on my "burner phone" asking her what to do.   Then my mom came home home that afternoon and took care of it.   She tried to be a good mom and she wanted us to have what she had growing up.   Sadly, we did not.   Our house was falling apart.  Mom's advancement in live was owed to a man she had an affair with.  However, it was the beginning of a better life for us.   Well, until 2014, but I had a lot to read until I got to that, and I was there the day it came crashing down....