The MakeUp Artist Internship

After The Election

     I am always tired after working the election. I didn't even shower when I got home,  I reeked.  I went to the pizza party after the election and talked to other workers, and went back to work.  I told Paul that afternoon, "please proceed with the meeting of Mr. Depp.  I want to meet him."   He smiled and went back to work.   "He would be impressed,   We are."   I blush..  "You are like your dad,  can't take a compliment."   I go back to work.   Paul came out later and said, "Watch the trial.   Get to know your dad that way."   I watched a BBQ
bit. Those soulful, brown eyes that once looked into my mother's.  The calm voice that talked to my mother.   Why did she not want to meet him?   I think dad made her feel so bad about herself.  He was like Amber in a lot of ways.  He would talk at and berate my mom constantly.  I don't agree with cheating,  I do understand why my mom did it.  

     One afternoon, Paul came down with a letter.  It was very well written, telling Mr. John C. Depp II that he had a talented daughter who is a kind people person, a writer, a gardener, a painter, and a good dog mom,   He wrote that I am not looking for money, fame,  or a big compensation, but a "closure" of sorts.  He also wrote about mom who is a top aesthetician and people wait weeks to see her.   It was prom time so she was very tired. Saturdays were 7:30-4 back to back makeup for proms for three weeks. Amy Thompson was the one to see. The "fat Charlize looking lady". He enclosed a picture of me at a dinner we went to.  It was the one with the white dress.  I liked that picture.  He sent a picture of my mom as well, at a swimming party at their house.  Mother looked so pretty, her turquoise one piece under a lace cover up.   She was fuller figured now but in my heart, I knew Johnny didn't care.   Yes she has big boobs and hips but she was a woman and not a product.  

     I went home and crashed.  I was tired.   I had an odd feeling something was going to come if this.  

     I forget that my girlfriend isn't thrilled about this and I forgot and called her.

     "Hey, I sent that letter." 
"Uh-huh."
"I think he'll answer."
"Mmm-hmmm."
"Are you okay?"
"Just tired.  Laura from obituaries and I went to dinner after work,"
"Yeah."
"I can hang out with other girls."
"I know.   I never said you couldn't."
"Why are you such a bitch?"
"I'm not.   You're putting words in my mouth."
"No.   I do not.   You were the one who made the shitty remark that I you could hang out with other girls.  Do we need a break?"
"No.  Look I am tired.   Let's pretend this conversation never happened."
"Yeah.  I am thinking of partnering with Sophie Stevens at The Guild.  I bet you could do a mural for them.  I have e been watching the trial and you are a lot like your dad.  I am sorry.   I just get upset because he is gonna love you and you know, my parents and I don't speak."
"Yeah." 

     Maybe that was why she was so mean.  

      I went  to see my mom.   She had something to run by me.   I drive out to her sprawling fifties ranch.  It smells so clean today.  Sometimes her pitbull Rosie stinks up the place and her Russian Blues pee is so strong.   I had been watching the trial.  For a moment, I saw a very dark eyed Johnny laying on a fainting couch,   I see her lying next to him, just talking and enjoying each other's  company.   I walk through the foyer.   Our baby pictures adorn a wall.   Hannah and I both had ridiculous hair bows.  There I was with my big brown eyes, black hair, a smile just like Johnny's.  Hannah looked a lot like me but had blue eyes,  

     "Mom?" 
"In the sunroom."  I loved the sunroom.  Dark green and white furniture and tropical plants mom has had over the years.   During the winters, she heats the room.   She looks great.   She has some little pantsuit thing on.  She dresses so well.  
"What's up."
"I won a trip in June.  I need for you to watch the house."
"Sure.  Mom, I love you."
"I love you."
"Mom, I asked to meet Mr. Depp."
"Why?"  She starts to cry.   "I knew you would."
"Mom, why?  I think he would love to see you?"
"I don't want him to see me like this Jade Christine!!!  Look at me!  The only type of men who want me are men like Jeff Raypole.  Johnny would take one look at me and fucking walk away!  Get it?  Do you fucking get it..". Tears and snot are all over her face.   "He left me.  He didn't want me,  he pursued a relationship because he got to fuck a real pussy?  Do you get it, Jade Christine? I don't think you do."

      Mom was very beautiful, but very kind.   THAT was the reason she was set up with ugly men, or unattractive men.  She would be kind to them regardless. It wasn't her looks at all,   But she didn't see it.   She was so worn down by dad, she felt ugly and unloved....   She composed herself. 

     "I have won a trip to Puerto Vallarta and I need you to watch the house.  You can stay here I'd you want.  It could be a break from Sadie and the world.  I'm would buy food and pay you. It would be June 2-9."
"Sure. You'd be coming back in his birthday."
"Thanks and I don't care. He could give two shits about me."
"Mom, I just want you to know how beautiful you are and I love you so much.   I wish for one day for you to see it.  I love you."
"I love you, too, Jade.  You are very beautiful and kind to put up with me."
"I think Johnny would see you are very beautiful."
"Let's not go there."

    I got a week at her house. I was going to put in some time to snoop around. Mother wrote diaries of her life from the time she was nine in 1980 until probably that morning. I read about this Johnny guy she liked and raising me in my teens, I was going to have to revisit I them and I was going to.