The MakeUp Artist Internship

A Saturday In

If I were home and Scott was not working, it would be cigars and whiskey at O'Reilley's. There were times I wanted to pounce on him. Or, it was taking Sadie out to buy things she needed and bailing her out when I am broke myself, It's driving her around to people I don't know, who look at me funny. It was playing chump when she was blowing some guy for some weird reason. The house that looked like 1910 had a weird guy who said, "You look like that star's daughter. Do you do blow jobs or do you just drive her?" I hated acting like this was all okay, because deep down it wasn't.  At one house a girl said something pretty prophetic. "You know, she is using you. She fucks around and that woman she works for? They are doing it," she said. As much as I didn't want to believe, I didn't want to be alone.  I texted Sadie and she said, "My energies are so low.   I had a lot of readings.   No time to talk.   No spoons."   I said  to myself, Johnny wouldn't take this, texted back, "Seems you don't have a lot of spoons for me, like ever."   She said, "Darling, I am tired.   I will make it up to you.   Love you."   However, I would learn through mutual friends, she telling them, "I am going to stay with her for a while.   Her dad is Johnny Depp and she could get money."   I texted back, "Love you" and ordered some pizza and I got out 1996.   The hotel she was calling home for three weeks in December.  

    "Well we moved in to the hotel this afternoon after work.   I am still bleeding.   Rob wanted sex and I decided I had better do it as no one else would want me.    I put Jade in her pack and play.   I don't feel bad I'm not feeling good.  My throat hurts and I am tired.  Rob is going to give his car to the bank when we move in and I can ride the bus to take Jade to Veryle's or Linda's, as it is on the bus line, but I have to get up at 5 to get her to the sitter by 7 so I can be at the mall by 9, then ride the bus to get her and be home by 7, but this is the sacrifice I have to make.  No other man wants me.  I miss Johnny.   I admit and I wish I was stronger and INSISTED to talk to him."   My heart went out to her.   "I hate this room.  It never gets warm and I am sick.  I am still bleeding and I have aches, chills, fever.  I can't afford to miss work, so I drug up, get on the bus with Jade, ride to the sitters, and then to work.   Then I work 9-5 and then I have to go get her.  I pray my last appointment cancels.   Then it's back to the red nightmare.   I want to go to Grandma's and start my new life, but she has to pack."   She had a lot of bad days.   She talked about sitting in a room and all the could smell was the food from the greasy spoon and I was sick.   "It is my day off and I was going to go to the store.   However, as soon as I got her in the stroller and down to the stop, Jade threw up.   She has such a high fever.  I am worried.  I took her to see Dr. Goethe and it took forever and I had a puke bowl, towel and a change of clothes with me in case she threw up again.   However, she slept.  Finally.   She has a double ear infection.   I am glad she has meds now.   All she did was bawl this morning.   I wish we were still back in the house."   However, with having one car, mom was learning how to adapt.   She was great at that.  

Things did look up.   She had a Merry Christmas except she didn't get the ring as she was promised.   "I am learning that promises don't really get fulfilled in our relationship.  He just hopes I don't notice.  I do, but I have no right to complain.   We had a problem the other night.   We went out and someone from my "days" noticed me and asked if I could come over.   I guess he whispered something to Rob and Rob laid into me and said 'You're lucky I am a forgiving person and am willing to work on this with you.''"  However, in typical Rob fashion he would let this fester and fester and fester and then he would blow....  However, 1997 started out with a huge fight.  I guess someone from her past came up to Rob and told her the things she did.   Again, he kept it a secret that he knew but he was angry.   "Well we are settle in the house.  Jade is finally feeling better.  I blame them dirty hotel.   I felt so sorry for her how sick she was.  However, getting to doctor is going to be hard, as we have to catch a bus and get there.   I am learning the schedules.  I hate having to Be on the bus at 7 to get to work at 9.   I love the house, except for I think the magic of when my grandma was where is still here.  It's not.  The house seems so dark and sinister."  She talks about work, bus rides, being exhausted.   She wrote about a cold snap where she has me so wrapped up,  "I miss having a car, but hey, we are saving money.   Little Jade looks so so cute wrapped up and I put a blanket over the stroller.   Veryle told me i should have never sold my car and she is right,  but I am doing this for love.  Sure, the women on the bus look at me funny, call me 'rich girl', but if they knew.  Plus, I think Rob is cheating on me.  He gets rides home sometimes, as the bus is waayyy creepy at night.  I think he is fucking Heather.  However, with my past, I have to take it.  I am a slut.  I am a white, just like what Rob says and no man is going to want that.  Part of me says, girl run with Jade.   Go to another city and begin a new life.  However, they would find out, and they would leave me.  Rob is willing to stay."  It really makes me so mad to see my mom. so down.  

In 1997, her indiscretions came to a head.  It was a perfect day.  Mom took me to the bluffs and we went to see my parents, but when we came home, mom walked in and he gets in her face, mine too.   He was asking whose names she had the three way with.   His face turned red and he said over and over, "You are a fucking whore!   I really am doubting if I want to stay with you!"   Mom was shaking and crying.   "It was a beautiful day, but then we got home.   I guess my past was catching up with me.   When I got in the door, he got in my face and Jade's.   He called me a 'fucking whore' and he pushed me and Jade.  I almost lost my balance.  I put Jade in her crib and went downstairs where for three hours he verbally assaulted me saying he was 'really considering' staying with me, but I couldn't leave or have him do that.   I was a ruined woman.   That night, I took my blankets and moved in with Jade."  He didn't speak to her for weeks.   A week later, he did the same thing.   He threw a picture at her and called her parents.   He shoved her around.   When I look back on it, she really should have left, but I would not have such an amazing sister.   

     I get to 1998.  She barely survived 1997.  She wrote  about Johnny in her journal. "We went to see Donnie Brasco in the theater and I bawled the whole time. Luckily I had a sleeping Jade's hair to cry into. I miss Johnny and I wish that bitch gave him my phone number.  I cried because if things went right, I could have had that and this nightmare would not be happening."   It was a lot of depression, a lot of wishing that she kept the baby.   Wishing she never met Rob, as their relationship was basically "fuck, eat, and drink". "Holidays pass and no ring....  I think he thinks I am okay with it, but he has gone against his promise. I called him on it one super bowl Sunday when I was watching a movie about a wedding and he slapped me I. The face, saying it was all 'a sorority girl' lie' and he wanted to be 35 when he got married, not 27. I almost moved home that day. I even called mom and she said she would take Jade and me back." 1997-1998. was a lot of long bus rides and she would do that for almost ten years, until she could afford a car. She got two girls ready for school, loaded us on the bus, got us to daycare, five days a week, as mom had a demand for her services by then. Mom was just starting out by then. She was really good with skin and nails. Sometimes hair was a struggle, but that was okay. Then it was her getting pregnant.  She was excited, scared, upset, hopeful. She and Rob married in August of 1998 and I became Jade Christine Thompson in November. She talked about the joys of being pregnant, but then something juicy happened and I was engrossed. "Dr. Moravec looks just like Lorenzo Lamas and he is so kind. All Rob does it bitch about this, but he DID get the jailer's job, so no more food and late nights. He is on thirds though. Glad he is out of The Biz. However, lusting  after this new, very single doctor is not what a woman should be doing a week before her wedding, but he is so kind and sweet. I was depressed when Dr. Mowan said he wasn't delivering babies. I adored him. I thought in life all I wanted to do is get married and all I do is cry. Maybe he isn't the one and in a weird way I feel so bad, like I am cheating on Johnny, We have those ones in our lives, and Johnny is the one, I am afraid."

I went to sleep.   I am fucking tired.  However, I didn't sleep long.   A door opened and something crashed to the floor.  I get up and look over the balcony.  It's mom and Johnny.  Johnny is all over her.   His hands were pushing up her skirt.   They are practically dry humping by the door, but pretty soon I hear them on the couch.   I should be put off by all of this, but she deserves this so much.   I have seen her so unhappy for so long.