The MakeUp Artist Internship

A Steak Dinner

     I was tired.  I always was when I got home from California.   Mom texted a photo of them both reading in bed and said, "Dear, I really owe you."  Then Charisse texted me, "Empty bed." Charisse was trying to get me to live with her. I didn't. She was really pushing for me to move in with her, be committed. I barely know her. I was feeling all sorts of dread about eating steak that evening. I got dressed and walked to work. It had rained. It was cold and windy. It wasn't California. At work I read the diary. The Summer of 17 was a depressing, depressing time for my mom. "I still hold out for hope that Erik will come back into my life, and wrongly so. He has his wife. He has his love. I live with my foolishness every day. It's just getting worse and I feel bad for wanting to break up with Jeff but there is no attraction there. I keep hoping it will grow, but it hasn't and I was so embarrassed when he was climbing the side at play land the other day. I miss Johnny. I hear he's divorced, but my heart just could not take it as I know he is with someone else. I wish I could contact with him, tell him hat we have a daughter. She's twenty three, cute as can be, and working so hard to make it in the world. I smile when I see my Jade and it's so nice to have her home."

I got to work and it was Monday. It was very busy day, full of clients and people wanting to see Paul. I didn't get much reading done. Charisse was picking me up. We were meeting JOhnny tomorrow night. Mom was going to fix dinner, her famous chicken divan. Charisse got there early. "I just had to see my pretty little girl," she told me. I told her I had a few minutes. She said, "I will be out in the car. See you soon." I wait until five and then I walk out. Charisse is on her phone. I get in the car and she kisses me on the cheek. "I missed you so much, my little girl." She said. In felt uncomfortable. "I wish you would have worn a dress." I told her it was too cold. "Awww, I'd warm you up." She brushes my leg.

    We drove to the old neighborhood restaurant where Charisse talks of her day, helping women. "You should get a job at the shelter being a receptionist. They would just love you," she told me. "You are just so adorable. You know that you are so beautiful." I thank her. What else could I have done? I felt so trapped. I knew how my mom felt. She felt so obligated to Jeff but so repulsed by him. "You're awfully quiet. You okay?" She asked. "It's just jet lag. I am tired," I told her. "Awwww," she said.

    "I can't wait for you to meet Johnny," I tell her. "He's at my mom's as well as a security guard."
"Ah. I am sure he is nice, but he is an abuser."
"He has been nothing but nice to me and my mom."
"Well, that is because he eventually WILL abuse you and your mom."

    I hated this. "I think you shoujd move in with me. I was thinking, maybe we'd get you inseminated and you could have a baby."
"I still like the old fashioned way.'
"That is why I have a strap on, babe."
"Yeah," I said uneasily.

    Dinner is nice. It's better than the greasy hamburger I would have picked up on the way home. I was having good dinners, but she was sort of scary. She tried to control things. She wanted me to move in with her in the worst way. Sadie was so aloof, didn't care if I stayed and if anything, I tried to keep the relationship going. She wanted me married, artificially inseminated and to move in with her. I just could not. There was something so pushy about her that I didn't like, but these meals were good and I sort of didn't have the heart to hurt her because she said, "Sherri really hurt me and I just could not go back to the east unit and live." I smiled uneasily. "Let's go back to my place. I want my curves girl all to myself. That businessman was eyeing you and I didn't like it." We drove home.

    She got me a glass of wine and we sat down and talked. She pulled my hair back. "So pretty. You have that quality your dad once had. Your dad lost that over the years." I looked at her and said, "Well, he got old." She kissed me. I kissed her back. She took off my sweater. "I love it. So vintage," she said. I told her, "It was my mom's in the 1980's." She smiled. She played with my bra. "These right here make me want to protect you. You know men purely want you for your breasts," she said. I looked at her. I want to protect you. She unhooked my bra and sucked on my nipples. "This is why I want to have a baby with you," he said. I played with her short hair. "You smell nice today. What is it?"
I told her it was an old bath and body works. She smiled. "I credit you with more class than that. I will have to take you to the perfume counter and find your signature scent. Mine is Black Opium," she told me. "You'll have to let me take you." We kissed. She pulled down my work pants and my underwear. "I thought about this all weekend," she said running her mouth over me and sucking on my clit, darting in and out. Pretty soon I began to come. SHe ran her fingers over, around, and in me and I came again. I squirted a little. She didnt' stop and the third time, I think I did pee. I was tired my body was worn out and I was barely hanging on. She looked at me She said. "I want you to try me "and I did. She was sort of old. She smelled a little funky, but I got it done. She was slow in getting warmed up and pretty soon she was wet enough that she was able to come. I stopped after she did and looked at her,l her hairy, un trimmed pussy looked like it was breathing in and out. She said, "Keep doing darling." So, I did. She came again. I watched her pulsate in and out and then she got up. She then laid me down and got on her strap on, "For you, my darling." She got on top of me and moved back and forth. I began to come again. I was a listless mess. She came and kissed my neck. "See, you don't need a man," she whispers.

    Maybe I didn't. I told her I had to get home to take care of my dog and she said, "Okay. I guess you have to do that. You are a good dog mommy. Maybe we need to get our two dogs together," she said. I had a feeling about that. I went upstairs, stinking of her perfume and her and took a shower. I got and looked at me. I looked at myself, bloated and fat. I had a feeling she was feeding me to make me look undesirable.

    Scott texted. "We're taking your dad out on Thursday to O'Reilley's. Cigars and fun!"
I texted back, "Oh yes."
Charisse texted me, "I will see you tomorrow. Can't wait to meet your dad."
I texted back, "Same. He wants to take me out Thursday, so rain check on the poetry reading.
"Charisse said, "Awww, disappointed. Nicole is one of the best, but Friday we will go to her house."

    I got out the diary, it was after a fall party with my mom and Jeff. "I just got home from Lynell's and Rico's fall party and I am exhausted both mentally and physically. Well, we went back to his place, too. Jeff tries too hard to fit in and he tries too hard period. He made a lasagna nobody wanted, not even me. He got mad no one wanted, but it was burnt and gross looking. He got mad I talked to someone who worked at the history museum, said I was 'flirting'. Hardly. The man was in his seventies. I had to go have sex with him and he's just ew. He's not groomed. Johnny usually was but I knew he was a man as he kept hair down there. Rob was bald down there. Jeff is not big. He's three inches at best and he kept saying, "I could drive a car through your pussy." They he couldn't get off and he hit the pillow next to me. He said, 'You're lucky I am with you. I knew you slept around in your 20's via our friend Wendy, and you had big babies, but this is sort of ridiculous.' I wanted to tell him, 'I just can't stand being around you and I am scared shitless to leave you because I am scared shirtless by how you react.'"

    Again, my life was parallel to hers.