The MakeUp Artist Internship

Spring 1994: Jade Christine

I was a high end aesthetician and nail tech who could cut hair.  I was improving.   Mother loved her new red I did for her.  Mother and Father were to be at the delivery, AND to punish me there was to be NO epidural.   I didn't know how embarrassing that was going to be for me.   My sister got her things I promised her and I did her nails.   I guess she learned in one of her classes about labor and delivery and before her job at the baseball diamond, she said, "I hear you might poop during delivery.   Mom and dad will be so grossed out."  I said, "Sarah, keep it down!  This is a classy salon."   Sometimes I wondered if the relationship was real.   However, one early April day I got a letter from Elise, a picture of me and Johnny fell out.   I was so cute and tiny.  I just held it to my chest and bawled.  I called her at home, but she was at work.   Jason and I were going out informally.   He wanted sex, but I didn't and by April I was huge.  I could barely sit all day and standing was the worst.   I called The Viper Room again.   The bartender said, "I am sorry,he's not taking calls, sweetie."  I said, "Well it's the last time I will call.  I am having a baby and it's his."  There was an audible click, but I was sure he heard that time and time again. 

However it was at the salon when I found out he was dating Kate.   It was mid April 1994.  I was huge.   I was on a break and one of the stylists said, "She's cute and he's hot."  I asked who.  She said, "Johnny Depp and Kate" and I said, "Oh.  I had a friend who met him once.   She doesn't stand a chance with him.  She's fat."  They both looked at me.   Molly did say, "Amy, why are you getting so upset about this?  It's not like you know him!"  I didn't want to blow his cover.  We talked of big plans.   He wanted me to come out after Christmas to see him.   I was so crushed he never called or even bothered to find me.  

And this set my mood for years....  

We were getting close to that time, which coincided with Sarah's graduation.   Actually we were decorating the cafeteria for seniors the day my water broke.  I wasn't feeling too hot.  I went over to Jason's the night before, as he worked at the hospital lab and we hung out, seeking "company" from each other.  However, he still liked to go to the bars and have a good time and he even told me, "It's kinda weird doing anything with you."  I thought to myself, it was almost a year that I was doing it with Johnny.  I had a lot of happy memories, especially when I squirted all over the side of my bed at the bungalow.   The night grandma told me she heard me "getting it from behind".  Now he was dating Kate Moss.  

My back hurt that day, ALL DAY.  We went to garage sales and I ate with my mom.   My belly was hurting.   It was like cramps.   I asked my mom if I could walk the hallways and look at old classrooms, and a life I don't remember, and she said "Yes".   However, it stirred something up and when I was looking at Preston Leighton's old locker, a pain almost brought me to my knees.   I never felt something like that before.  I walked back to where they were decorating and one of the other moms said, "Amy, are you okay?"  Mother said, "Of course she is!"  Then my water broke.  I started crying and mom got me to the hospital.  The kind PTA moms cleaned my mess up.  

"How stupid are you that you are in labor and you don't know it?   This is perfect!   Couldn't you hold off a week so Sarah could have her party and you not have the baby?"  She was serious.
"Mom, I didn't ask for this!"  I was sobbing.  "It hurts!"
"Shouldn't have spread your legs!  I did it quit being a baby."
"I'm NOT!" 
"You are.  If you can accept a man's penis, then stifle it and have this baby!   I didn't whine as much and I was a tiny little thing.  

We get to the room and my mom called my dad.  I went through three hours of screaming and one of those was pushing.  I pushed out Jade Christine Warren, a dark haired, DEEP brown eyed girl weighing seven pounds thirteen ounces at 6:38 PM June 3, 1994.   She was beautiful and looked very much like Johnny.   When they gave her to me, I just cried and cried, because she as so beautiful and I was responsible for her.   There was no mistaking she was Johnny Depp's child.   However, I had to stay silent about it.   I had to deflect people when they would say something and that was my life after I had Jade.  Mrs. Faris her Kindergarten teacher called her "Edward Scissorhands" because she was so shy and polite with big brown eyes and always wearing a fancy dress.   My mom kept her in those. Mother adored Jade Christine, but during Sarah's graduation party, I was to deflect Jade. "If they say how cute Jade is, say 'This is my sister's graduation party. Let's celebrate her today!" There I was puffy bellied, tired, and sore. I had to downplay you so Sarah could be happy."