NADA - Geto Suguru X OC X Gojo Satoru

Break

She was home. With the kids. Back where she should've been from the start. Everything had gone back to how it was, except for the fact that she was breaking inside. She pushed it away, like she always did. Hid it away under a carpet in the farthest corner of the brain.

She laid the dishes as the kids quietly sat at the table. It was way too silent.

The kids clearly weren't over him. She was afraid of how that scarred them. All because of her. And she felt it rush through her system, all of what she'd shoved away, everything that she avoided.

She asked them to begin without her as she sloppily walked towards the bathroom. She couldn't even look at herself in the mirror. The pain rose to her chest, taking over her system, her senses going numb as she felt her lungs collapse. She held her breath for as long as she could, knowing what was coming, knowing it would capsize her completely. She dismally gasped when she couldn't hold it anymore. She tried to breathe but she couldn't, the constriction in her chest grew denser by the passing second. The thoughts in her head wouldn't go away.

Everything she'd pushed away for all these years were finally breaking loose in her mind. She sank in her knees holding her chest.

'What have I done?'

She saw her father leave. Watched her mother die. She ran away from her town. She ran away, again. She saw how she was violated. Watched her kids die. One by one. She had a miscarriage. She drove the man she loved to his death. She saw the hate in everyone's eyes when they saw her. She saw Satoru fight because of her. And she was putting everyone in Jujutsu High in danger.

She'd never hated herself more. She knew she was a void of eternal doom. A black hole. Everything around it was either in ruins or dissipated in it forever. A void. An unpleasant mass of nothingness. Plain, gory, dark emptiness.

Nada.

'It's me.'

Her face buried in her hands as she took gasping breaths, but she couldn't breathe. She wanted it to stop. She wished to finally die so it could stop. As her panic set in, she stopped functioning.

Her heartbeat elevated as she grieved him. Her mind fell into insanity as she finally acknowledged every single thing that had gone wrong in her life. Every single thing she'd done wrong.

Her heart broke with every gasp that escaped her lips, every time she tried to breathe, every time she wished for death. She rubbed her chest hoping to soothe what was remaining of her heart.

Nada.

All her life, she played her part perfectly, held herself up, created her own illusion, without looking back, without second thoughts. All alone. Creating her perfect life. Like a beautiful canvas in a gallery. How different was she really from Geto Suguru?

Hollow. She felt her chest hollow out as the pain shot through her nerves. She palmed her mouth so the kids wouldn't hear her. She wanted to scream, scream her lungs out. She wanted to-

"Breathe, sweetheart", she felt Satoru gently caress her head. She didn't sense him at all.

She couldn't face him, not like this. And he didn't force her to. He squatted next to her as his fingers gently ran over her head, "I'm so sorry".

His heart clenched when he saw her so woefully sob. He couldn't stop his hands from reaching for her. He'd do just about anything, if it meant she'd feel even slightly better.

Once he was certain that her panic attack had subsided, he sat down on the bathroom floor and slowly pulled her into his arms. "I'm right here, sweetheart. I got you."

He was here. Again. Saying the same things, just years apart. When he held her, a small smile appeared on his face. It felt so familiar. Those few weeks she hid in his compound while he snuck her food, talking about everything under the sun, was the happiest he'd ever been. And she was here. In his arms. Again.

He wondered why fate was so cruel to her. She really had the biggest heart he'd ever seen. She deserved every line of Geto's vows and more. "Come back, please." He whispered against her head.

"Nobody will bother you there. I promise." He added

"No"

"Let me talk to them. Please, sweetheart."

She almost melted but knew how good he was at sweet-talking his way through everything. She quickly composed herself and shook her head.

"We need you there." He hoped to convince her somehow. "More than you think we do."

"I can't." She whispered. "I can't live like this, knowing how another person will suffer because of me."

"Please don't say no, please." He almost begged. "I can't lose you too", his grip tightened around her and she realised what he meant.

"You know I can't-"

"I'll always be there for you. I promise."

"What will I even do there?"

"You've trained a lot with Suguru. You could teach"

"I'm terrible at it, I'm sure."

"You're so good with the kids, darling. I can't fathom how you'd be bad at this."

"I can't hurt people around me. I'm just tired" she sharply inhaled "let's just stop doing what we're doing. All of us. I'm more than happy to die. It doesn't bother me."

"I can't let that happen."

"You're in no position to-"

"I promised-"

"We were kids".

"And I intend to keep it." He sounded serious. She couldn't understand why he was so hell bent on a promise he made as a child, years ago. She also didn't understand how desperately he was holding onto those little moments of joy in his life, even if it was from ages ago.

"Why?" She'd finally calmed enough to process what he was saying. She looked up at him and he felt his breath hitch. Those eyes. Those doe-like baneful eyes. Reminded him of what Nietzsche once said. He saw the daunting void that she was as she involuntarily absorbed some of his cursed energy.

He stared into the abyss and felt it stare right back into his soul.

It consumed him. All of him. Until there was nothing left for her to reap.

Nada.