Pretty Birdie

Chapter 33 - The Clinic

I wake on the Saturday morning after getting barely any sleep. I was awake through most of last night deciding if this is something I really wanted to do. On one hand I can't have this child. I can't have Xanders baby. But on the other hand I'm doing this to an innocent life. Is that something I can go through with? I get dressed that morning feeling defeated and worn down. Was I rushing into this? But it had to be done, didn't it? Wes wouldn't stay with me if I kept this baby. Why would he? I decide I need to go. Maybe I just needed to get it over and down with. It's for the best I tell myself over and over.

After I pull on a pair of jeans and a hoodie I sit in front of the TV with some toast.

'You didn't get much sleep last night. I could feel you tossing and turning. Are you OK? Are you feeling nervous about me going out today, because I can rearrange?' Wes says to me, walking through the living room in just a pair of lounge shorts. I look down his body, unable to resist myself.

'No, its not that. I'm fine, really. You can go. I'll see you after. How long do you think you'll be?'

'Maybe an hour and a half, two hours tops'

I watch Wes pull his converses on and grab his jacket before turning to me and planting a kiss on my cheek.

'I'll see you in a bit B' he says before walking out the door.

I scurry over to the window and wait for him to emerge out the bottom of the building. When he does I watch him cross the road and walk up the path before I grab my shoes, coat and keys getting ready to leave. I walk into the living room, grabbing the remote control off the sofa about to turn the TV off when the news flashes on. I look up at the screen to see a picture of Xander and then after that five images of girls. The first four girls are the ones I recognise from the photos and then me. I'm on the TV. I watch in horror as my story and the story of those other girls is laid out for every one to watch and gawk at. My eyes water and the images of those days I spent with Xander come creeping into my mind. I feel a hollow pit in my chest. I know I'm making the right decision now. I can't have that monster as the father of my child. What sort of life would that kid have. Everyone would know who his father was and I didn't want them living with that sort of stigma. My heart was breaking at the imaginary life I was picturing for this baby. I point the remote at the TV, blackening the screen not wanting to hear anymore. I turn to the door and leave.

I'm standing outside the clinic, looking up at the cold exterior of the building. I head towards the door and pull it open feeling a warmth pull me in. As I walk in I look around the inviting waiting room. Its not what I expected of a place like this. I was expecting more of a hospital vibe. But this place was.. nice? It was bright and airy with warm pastel colours dancing across the walls making this room feel anything but dreary. There are potted plants and flowers dotted around the room and a stack of current magazines scatter over a coffee table. I walk up to the desk, being greeted by a friendly smile of the women behind it.

'Hi, can I help?' She asks

'Hi, I've got an appointment for 12:30 under the name Birdie'

She clicks and types something into the computer sitting in front of her on her desk.

'There you are' she says looking at the screen. 'You're all checked in. If you would like to take a seat in the waiting area DR. Booker will be out to you in a moment. Feel free to read a magazine whilst you wait. Would you like anything to drink? Tea or coffee maybe?' she offers.

I shake my head, shocked at the friendliness of this place.

'No, t-thank you' I stutter to get out.

I take a seat and wait only a matter of seconds before a man comes out into the waiting room.