Pretty Birdie

Chapter 7- Regret

I slept much better that night after finding Wes's clothes, but that didn't stop me waking up that morning feeling like death. I've never had a hang over last this long and then I remember it's not just a normal hang over. Xander drugged  me. I thought he was supposed to be one of the good ones? My taste in men has never been amazing, but this takes it to a whole new level. The worst my ex used to do to me was hint that I need to go to the gym, really lowering my self esteem. Maybe he's the reason I have a low opinion of myself?

I sit up in my bed with me back to the head board and look up to the ceiling.

'Why me?' I ask no one in particular. Maybe I'm waiting for some supreme being to answer me. to tell me that things can only get better from here. But I don't hold my breathe.

I stay in bed a little while longer before trying to drag myself out. I can't just wallow here forever. I walk into the bathroom and turn the shower on. I step into it and let the water fall over my head. I grab hold of my body wash and scrub my thighs, still being able to feel his touch. I shudder at the thought. Tears start to fall from my eyes as my mind goes to the dark place of what could have easily happened to me if it wasn't for Wes. How am I supposed to face this person after what he did to me. He doesn't live far from the shop.  I know I'll have to see him sooner or later and the thought feels me with dread. 

After I get out the shower and dry myself off I put Wes's clothes on to try and comfort myself. The minty smell makes me feel safe. Something I really need now. 

I spend the rest of the day listening to sad songs and crying. I cry until there's nothing left in me. I lay on the sofa, feeling my eyes getting heavy as I slip into a deep slumber. 

I wake up a little after 7 in the evening to what sounded like my door handle being rattled. I shoot up into a sitting position on the sofa with a jolt of fear, running down my spine. I sit still, listening. Trying to decide if I was my actual door I heard or if I was dreaming. After what feels an eternity, I slowly rise from the sofa and edge myself towards the front door. As I get near, I pounce onto the door and hold the door handle in my hand as I look through the peephole. There's no one there. It's just an empty corridor. I check the handle and its locked, feeling a sense of relief. Maybe it was just a dream I tell myself.

When I've felt my heart rate begin to slow and I can catch my breathe I decide I should try and eat something so I grab a bowl of cereal before taking myself to bed. I try to think of the positives of going to work tomorrow, like seeing my best friend. I really want to see Anna now. I needed my space this weekend to think about things and now I've digested everything I'm angry. I just know she'll be as angry as me if not more. I love that girl.