Pretty Birdie

Chapter 43 - The Beach

We leave the cottage hand in hand, strolling down the street, towards the coast.  The beach isn't far from the cottage. I used to walk this route pretty much every day when I'd come down here on holiday with mum and dad. I loved those days and even wished I could go back to when my family was whole. When dad was still here. I'd wish I could go back and appreciate all the things he used to do for me and my mum to make our holidays special. Now he's gone and I hardly see my mum who moved away to live with her new partner and I guess since then I've felt... lost. Being here with Wes brings back feelings of being complete.

'B?' Wes says, bringing me back from my thoughts. 'Are you OK?'

'Sorry, Yeah. Its just been a long time since I was last here. I used to come here when I was little with my family'

'Tell me about them'

'A few years ago, my dad passed away. It was so out of the blue. Me and my mum were heart broken. But she found Mike, her new husband and moved up north to be with him'

Wes looks over to me as we're walking. 'What happened to him?'

'Cancer. He didn't know. He was just here one day and gone the next. You would have liked him.' I say, looking off in to the distance.

'What was his name?'

'Robin' I reply

'Is that where Birdie came from?' He asks

I let out a little chuckle. 'Yeah. He used to always joke that I was his little birdie'

We stop talking for a few minutes while we continue to walk towards the beach.

'I haven't been back since he passed. I thought it would be hard, but it's been... kind of helpful'

'How do?'

'Just being somewhere, where he was. Almost like I can feel him here. You know...?'

'It's amazing the sorts of memories a place can hold. It must be nice to have that' He takes a pause. 'Can you smell that?' He says taking in a lung full of air.' That beautiful ocean smell'

Wes then takes off running as we round a corner, with the sea coming into view.

As he runs down the beach he's tugs his trainers and socks off and attempts to roll his jeans up before he goes running into the water, splashing it everywhere. I smile and let out a little giggle as I watch this man become a boy as he plays around in the sea.

'What the hell' I say out loud as I find myself running towards him, pulling my sandals off and joining him in the cold, salty liquid.

Wes turns to me and splashes my bare legs with the water. Thank god I settled on shorts today as I look at Wes in his soaking wet jeans. I let out a small shriek as he splashes me again with the freezing cold ocean water.

'Stop it' I yell whilst I giggle, only encouraging him to do it again.

'Stop it, or else' I threaten.

He starts taking large strides in the water towards me, stopping just inches from my body, as he looks down into my eyes from his towering height.

'What are you going to do?' he teases

I  pause, thinking of something to say as he bends in front of me and lifts me above his shoulder in a fire man carry. I thrash my legs around and scream as he runs through the water, splattering us both.

'Put me down' I yell, smacking his butt

'Make me' he retorts

I carry on swatting his butt and wriggling around, trying to free myself just as he comes to a stop in the water. He slides me down his body into a tight hold and looks into my eyes with a smile on his face as he pants, trying to catch his breath.

I look up at him, smiling, which starts to slowly disappear as a tension starts to set in.

When the tension starts to feel unbearable, Wes lunges forward, pressing his lips to mine. His hands that rest on the small of my back, work their way down to my bum as he lifts me, wrapping my legs around his waist.

He carries us out of the water and up the beach to a dry bank, still locked together and slowly lays me down onto the sand, laying on top of me. He moves his hands from my thighs to my waist as he hovers over me, kissing me, before moving his mouth to my neck and then my collar bone. I let out a calm breath and let my body relax into the sand as Wes licks and nibbles his way along my clavicle when suddenly a wave of nausea crashes over me. I push at Wes shoulders to get him off of me and cover my mouth in a desperate plea to fight off the sickness.

Wes retreats back onto his knees, giving me space to get up and run for some privacy, not wanting him to see what is threatening to happen. As I round a corner I heave into a patch  of grass, with nothing coming up. My body retches a few more times before Wes comes around the corner, rushing to my side, rubbing a hand along my back.

'Jesus B. Are you OK?' he asks with concern.

I stand up straight and turn to him.

'Yeah, I think its gone now'

'This can't still be those painkillers you're on can it?'

'No, I haven't been on those for a while now' I reply, knowing I stopped taking those as soon as I found out I was pregnant.

He pauses and looks at me.

'I think I know what this is'

'You do?' I ask, feeling my heart about to hammer it's way out of my chest.

'Yeah, I gave you food poisoning, didn't I? He asks

'Wes. There's.... I....' I try to say.

I know I should tell him. I was going to tell him. I had all the intention in the world. But I can't risk scaring him off. I need more time with him. I know its selfish, but I can't force myself to admit this to him. What if he doesn't want me to keep the baby? I can't do that. I haven't really put much thought into how a baby would fit into my life, but I know the hole in the pit of my stomach that starts to form when I consider what my other options are. I feel it. The emptiness. It was different when I thought Xander was the father. That baby had no future. But this baby... Wes' baby... My baby. So I lie to Wes

'Maybe it was the bacon' I try to joke.

Then he holds me in his warm, muscular arms and runs his finger through my hair.

'Well lets get back and see if we can get something from a pharmacy or something before we head home.'

All I can do is hum in agreement into his chest as tears threaten to emerge.