I Will Follow You Into The Dark || Jegulus

17. Merry Christmas Everybody

A few days later, James got an owl from Lily with all the information for the party. It was on New years Eve at Mary's house. James wasn't friends with Mary, but he had talked to her before. She was best friends and roommates with Lily. James showed the letter to both Sirius and Remus, who agreed to go, so he returned another letter to Lily saying they would be there.

Sirius immediately insisted that they go shopping. He wanted to see a real muggle shop, which he has done numerous times since living with the potters, but it still mesmerized him every time. It was just a few days before Christmas, snow sprinkling on the ground, the whole world decorated brightly for their respective holidays. 

"Effie! Monty! please, we have to go to one of those muggle shops!" Sirius ran to them, practically begging.

"Alright, Sirius, let's go do that then." Monty smiled at Sirius, who he would call his favorite son if James wouldn't have a hissy fit over it. Ever since Sirius moved in, he had gotten along with Monty the easiest. Of course, Effie was also an amazing parent. They both were, and they were just beautiful couple.

James idolized the way his parents loved each other so effortlessly and hoped to be like that one day with Lily. But what if things didn't work out with Lily?

He hated having thoughts like that, but he couldn't control Lily. He would enjoy always having Lily in his life, though. She was a wonder. If Lily left him, though, who else could he love? Sometimes, it seemed like nobody could ever compare to Lily, James knew that since the moment he met her. He knew he loved her by year one and had their wedding planned since he was 12 (he was open to criticism, though). He didn't think he could handle throwing all that away. 

"James, you alright?" Sirius asked, patting him on the shoulder. They were outside some store at a muggle outlet mall. The place seemed perfect for Sirius, exactly his style. 

"I'm alright, sorry." James said and followed Sirius and Remus in. The stuff inside is nothing James would ever wear, but Sirius went crazy. He held up baggy pants far too long for James's liking covered in stars and moons. 

"These muggles really know what they're doing." he grinned and ran to the shirts. Remus had to hold Sirius back from using their whole budget. muggle money wasn't unlimited, and Remus and James still needed clothes. 

Sirius ended up buying that pair of baggy black jeans with chains and a shirt from a band James had never heard of called Radiohead. 

They moved onto the next store, which James liked much more. Remus ended up buying a neutral colored sweater, which matched many of his other neutral colored sweaters, but James supposed Remus knew what he liked. James struggled. He didn't know what to wear to the party. He wanted to look nice for Lily, but nothing was good enough. In the end, he settled for a colorful sweater and some jeans. 

He missed Peter and wondered what he was up to. They hadn't seen him all holiday, which was odd because usually he would visit once or twice. He was never over as often as Remus, but it was odd not to be getting any messages, at least. 

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They all wrote to peter every day approaching Christmas and even tried visiting him, but he wasn't home. Eventually, they had to give up and accept that Peter would not be spending Christmas with them. It was a pleasant morning, but it felt odd. Everyone knew something was off, Peter was gone, and Remus and Sirius could not make eye contact with each other, but James tried to keep the cheer at its peak level. 

They all woke up first thing in the morning to open presents, James had gotten everything something, he got Remus a wolf stuffed animal, and Sirius a black dog. He was planning on getting peter a rat one, but he never showed up, and the rat stuffed animal sat in a bag under the Christmas tree labeled "Pete" forever to be unopened. 

James received a golden snitch from Sirius, which was likely stolen, and a weighted blanket from Remus.

James bought his parents matching necklaces that he thought were cute, and they loved them.

That night, he broke. After all the festivities were over and almost everyone went to bed, he broke down in front of Remus. He cried into Remus's shoulder quietly until Remus carried him to his room and layed with him.

"What did we do wrong? Why is Peter gone? I haven't talked to him in so long." James sobbed.

"I don't know Jamie." Remus combed a hand through James's hair slowly,  and they stayed like that until James fell asleep, and by then Remus decided to stay in James's bed until morning.

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Hello Everyone, I know it's been a few weeks, I'm sorry about that, I'm not gonna lie i thought I already published this chapter. I hope you all have a good thanksgiving and enjoy my christmas chapter well before christmas.