I Will Follow You Into The Dark || Jegulus

29. Maybe, I'm afraid

Remus didn't wake up until the next day. James and Sirius had to attend classes, and James had to literally drag Sirius to their last class to prevent him from sprinting to the hospital wing.

"Hey, I'm gonna grab some food for Remus, you go ahead and head to the hospital wing." James said once class ended.

It took all Sirius's control to not sprint, but eventually he made it.

Remus was awake, but he was not in good condition. Even after getting the night to recover, he was still covered practically head to toe in bloody bandages, revealing how gruesome the full moon had been for him. It was worse than anything that had happened in year one. As soon as they made eye contact, Sirius felt like time was frozen. He just stood there and stared at Remus, who just stared back, the look on his face indescribable, a mix of hurt, betrayal, but also happiness, hope. There was a bandage covering half his face, but Sirius could still see his frown.

"I'm sorry. I should have been there." Sirius said, and was finally able to will himself to move, and sit in a seat next to the bed. "When I ran... I saw my mother with Regulus, she was lecturing him about his choice of friends, and she ended up using me as an example. How she always knew I would end up a queer. She didn't want him to be like me." Sirius sighed.

"And I guess something in me always told me that I couldn't be queer, because if I was, it would prove her right."

"Sirius..." Remus frowned, cocking his head to the side.

"I don't care what she thinks. She can't keep controlling my mind like this. I ran away for a reason." Sirius looked at Remus for what could have been hours before James stomped in, hands filled with plates of food for Remus. 

"REMUS!" He ran over and placed a plate of food on the bedside table before pouncing on Remus, hugging him tightly. "Are you doing alright?" He asked, a lopsided smile on his face, finally getting a chance to see his friend not drugged out of his mind. 

"I'm alive. Fucking hurts, but nothing I can't live with." Remus said. "Madame Pomfrey said my eye injury was bad though, and I might lose vision." He frowned, picking at the bandage wrapped around his face.

"I'm so sorry, I tried to stop you, but it was so hard and you just kept scratching at yourself." James tried to hold back from getting teary-eyed.

"It's okay James, you did your best. It would have been a lot worse without you." Remus said.

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After James and Sirius were forced to leave to let Remus rest, Regulus and Pandora came in for a brief meeting.

"Are you doing alright?" Regulus asked.

"Oh yeah 'm fine, don't worry about it." Remus lied, knowing Regulus knew, but he didn't trust this new girl. He knew Regulus and her were friends, and were researching horcruxes, but Remus didn't know her.

"Well me and Pandora found some information on horcruxes..." Regulus said quietly. "We know how Voldemort found out, and I think you have to be the one to get that information." He said.

"Well apparently Slughorn has some knowledge on them, and Tom riddle, being his favorite slug club member managed to get some disturbing information out of him. I was hoping Regulus would ask, but he thinks it won't work, and it would come off as suspicious if multiple students asked him about horcruxes... plus with Regulus's family, we think Slughorn will automatically think of the worst case scenario and shut down." Pandora explained.

"So what do you want me to do about it?" Remus asked

"Be the knowledge consuming nerd you are. Twist the truth slightly, maybe pretend to know less than you do and make sure he is absolutely sloshed." Regulus smirked, the sight of a drunk professor Slughorn crossed his mind.

Remus groaned thinking of the last slug club party. He didn't know why he even went to those, Slughorn just seemed to like him and he would feel bad not going. Sometimes Slughorn got so distracted talking that instead of small sips of his drink, he would refill it multiple times, getting more than a little drunk. It happened rarely, and usually people tried to avoid getting Slughorn to go on one of his tangents, but Remus could easily get him to, only to the annoyance of his peers.

Remus nodded, "I can do that."

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James was in the common room late at night sitting by the fire by himself, he wasn't sure why he couldn't sleep, but the warmth of the fire seemed to relax him. He didn't realize how tense he had been. He hadn't seen Regulus since Lily said he was a death eater. It still stumped him. Regulus wouldn't do that, besides he was too young. But if he was... had James been chasing a death eater. He was so close to befriending him. He wanted to say he was friends with Barty, and he hugged Evan, which meant that was something. There had to be some he wasn't seeing, and as much as his brain was trying to jump to conclusions, he knew that was stupid. He had to stay level-headed.

"What are you doing down here?" Lily asked, appearing out of nowhere behind the seat he sat in. She rubbed his shoulders.

"Just thinking" He sighed.

"Wanna talk about it?" She offered.

"You said Regulus was a death eater... how could he - how would you even know?" James stammered.

Lily frowned, "I mean just look at his mannerisms. Constantly tugging at his sleeve, acting suspicious, sneaking out at night, trying to befriend people like you" she listed.

"What is that supposed to mean?" James asked. Lily didn't seem the type to jump to conclusions, especially with her being best friends with... "what about snivellus? You don't think he could be a death eater?"

"He would never. I know him." She defended

"I know Regulus. I've seen him, I've seen his friends, they couldn't be death eaters if they wanted to. One of his best friends is the sweetest girl ever, I've never talked to her, but she sits out in the courtyard making flower crowns for her friends. You're saying a guy who probably wears flower crowns she makes could be a death eater?" James asked, knowing he was getting worked up again. This always happened, then he was told off for being too dramatic..

"James calm down." He's heard that plenty of times. Any time he tried to defend anything he cared about.

"I- I need a minute" He stood up and ran out of the common room.

The second he closed the portrait behind him, he was filled with regrets. Did he just ruin everything with Lily?

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Happy new Years guys! This year truly has been a roller coaster for me, and im genuinely hoping all that can finally be put behind me (its probably gonna get worse the second I step foot on school property knowing me) anyway I still have a week to get my bearings before going back to torture. I hope y'all all had a good year, and lets have a productive 2024